the life of shoe

i've moved

2010-04-26T13:31:00.001-07:00

you can now read me over at:

http://currentlyunderrenovation.blogspot.com

hope to see you there!

come, follow me!

2010-04-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

a week from today i will be moving.

my blog.

actually, i'm going to try and encompass everything in my life into one blog:

"CURRENTLY UNDER RENOVATION"

i figure it's time to start fresh. i'll be making this blog and my nanny blog private and continuing to write strictly over at the new homestead. seeing that i'm starting over in a lot of aspects of life (health, job, attitude, etc), it seems appropriate.

so, i hope you'll join me over there. i appreciate every single one of you and thank you for your comments, your advice, your lurking and your loyalty.

thanks!

depressed

2010-04-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

wow, i didn't realize that it's been a while since i last posted something. sorry about that. i guess i should explain what's been going on in my world and in my head.

straight up, i think i am suffering from a bout with depression. i don't know how severe or what kind or whatever, but all signs point to the big d. i've gone over all the symptoms, taken tests on medical sites to see results and it seems to be the case.

as you may or may not know, for the last 2 years my job has been shitastic. what was once a very easy job that i loved, turned into a chaotic mess that has left me sick, stressed, exhausted and an emotional mess. that started to seep into my personal life and i have become unmotivated, grumpy, lazy and even more exhausted. i have, at times, lost the urge to even care. all i know is that more often than not, i want to jump in my car and drive far, far away from everything and everyone i know and hide.

ages ago, i was never like this. but the more i thought about it, i think i can pinpoint when i started to perhaps let the gremlins creep in and start to make me feel less positive and motivated. there was that one bad relationship that sent me world careening upside down and made me realize that life isn't always so fantastic. all the security and dreams i had built up came crashing down in a millisecond. not only was my heart broken, but my world was shattered. i don't think i fully recovered from that, no matter how things may have looked to others.

that left me less trusting. it left me a bit more cynical. it made me fearful of ever giving myself fully again. something inside changed the day i walked out the door.

jump to today. i am in a job that makes me miserable. it makes me physically sick. i am so exhausted at the end of the day that stuff doesn't get done. hobbies i used to love are all falling by the wayside. i want to cry at the drop of a hat. there are times when i want to pummel someone just to release the anger and frustration. i've started to shut out latifah and that hurts the most. and then, when he can't immediately realize what's going on with me, that makes me angry. it's not his fault and i haven't told him what i think i'm dealing with yet. i need to wrap my head around it a bit more.

i'm feeling scatterbrained. i've become a bit more clumsy. the energy it takes to get dressed in the morning is about all i've got. i need to do something about this.

so, i am going to email my doctor and let her know what i've been dealing with. i guess, after that, we take it from there. a weight was lifted temporarily when i confided in friends about my feelings. but now it feels like it's coming back.

ack, this post wasn't very coherent, was it? welcome to my current world. to sum it all up: this girl is not happy and this girl needs to make it change. pronto.

hey there!

2010-03-24T22:52:00.001-07:00

hello lovely peeps!

don't take this personally, but lately i haven't had the blog urge. ok, i have, but when i actually get the time to sit and write a bit, the urge has passed. i'm one of those do it when you feel it people. if i wait too long, whatever i had the motivation to do will pass.

it's also do to being purely exhausted. like a friend of mine said "basically, you are a parent. when you go home, enjoy the down time without guilt." and as much as i want to fully enjoy it, there is still a bit of guilt that kicks me everytime i look and see the clean laundry that is needing to be put away or the stacks of books i need to put in the spare room. or just the clutter. but i can't even bring myself to try and get motivated after 6 pm. latifah is lucky if i make dinner. this is when i wish he knew how to cook!

i have been reading a friend/nanny's blog lately and she's getting under my skin little by little and making me feel some inspiration and some motivation. i'm starting slowly by at least trying to look somewhat presentable when i leave the house in the morning. i'm hoping that if i look good, it will make me feel a little bit better about all that is in front of me.

now, i need to get my exhausted butt to bed so i can try to get a few hours of decent sleep. hope you are all well and enjoying the change into spring!

what have you been up to?

hello sunshine!

2010-03-13T15:12:00.000-08:00

what a change from yesterday!

today is absolutely gorgeous! i'd prefer it a FEW degrees warmer, but i really shouldn't complain. we started off the morning sleeping in. it was a long night, as we are training the pooch to sleep in her own bed again. let's just say that she's acting a bit like a hungover 20something today because she did more pacing and staring than sleeping last night.

we woke up, took her for a magnificently sunny walk and then headed home to figure out lunch. i did a bit of cleaning in the kitchen while latifah got his playstation3 on. he's still playing. :) i made us some yummy turkey sammiches, peeled a couple of cara-cara oranges (omg, have you tried them? THEBESTEVERINTHEWORLD!) we all sat out on the balcony and enjoyed our food.

then it was bathtime for the pup. she knew what i was up to, so i found her trying to hide on the other side of her video game addicted father. but man, now that she is clean and dry, she is glowing. doesn't hurt that she got to lay in the sun and dry off in her sleep. what a life, eh?

so now, here i sit on the balcony, blogging in the gorgeous weather while a clean dog begs for crackers and a boyfriend kills things on the tv. can everyday be like this? seriously.

we don't have anything to do until we head out tonight to k's birthday party at a great irish pub nearby. i'm loving the laziness. sure, i could go and put some laundry away, but i'm in the moment damnit.

and that moment is good.

enjoy your weekend everyone!

TGIFF!

2010-03-12T11:32:00.000-08:00

yes, that IS what the extra F is for in the title. :)

oh friday, thank you for showing up once again right on time. however, i have a little bone to pick with you.

why did you have to bring along auntie flo for the ride? ok, i know i was the one that went off the pill and have been waiting for this horrendous day to finally arrive. but on a weekend? c'mon, that's just not funny. you're lucky i have ibuprofen.

it is one gloomy ass friday though. the clouds have come in and the rain has started to dibble dibble dop on the ivy outside the window. it's so dark we actually have to have lights on at 1135 am. all i would really like to do is crawl back into bed with a good book and laze this type of day away. but alas, the monkey pods that are currently playing so well together will need to be loaded up into the car for a school run shortly. a nanny's job is never done.....at least not until 4 pm today!

did i mention i got our herbs and veggies planted last sunday? well, i did. so far nothing has died :) (aren't you proud of me, mom??) and it actually makes going out onto the balcony more pleasant. i went out last night with the pupperface when i got home from work, only to start freezing my tukkas off. but it sure did look purty out there.

this weekend will consist of sleeping in (number 1 priority) and putting away laundry (i know, it's thrilling). we will also be hitting up a bday party for a friend of mine and hopefully indulging in a little liquor during the celebration!

what's in the planbook for your weekend?

the thanksgiving dictator

2010-03-11T16:35:00.000-08:00

i saw this on awkward family photos and had to share. mom, thank you for never being this anal!

The Thanksgiving Letter (back by popular demand)

From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney

(kindly submitted by Kara at http://californiakara.blogspot.com)

i need a name

2010-03-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

the last thing i need is another blog to maintain, but i am seriously considering starting a weight watchers/weight loss blog so that i don't bore you with all those details here. more than likely i will, but i am still debating it a bit.

question is, if i do start one, what should i name it? this is where i need your creative minds. if any of you comes up with a brilliant name for a weight loss blog, i will love you forever and give you credit.

let me know!

a different kind of to-do list

2010-03-04T15:52:00.000-08:00

start taking pictures again
set aside time for the guitar
start writing regularly again (both creatively and bloggity)
get into the gym as much as i can (which isn't much but anything is better than nothing)
write more letters
read more books
start collecting quotes again
start working on possible nanny book
pay off bills
travel more
go see more live music
stop sweating the small stuff
tell those important to me that i love them
reconnect with beloved friends
meditate
appreciate what i have
breathe

somethings' gotta give

2010-03-04T12:36:00.001-08:00

hello there loyal reader peoples. how the heck are you on this lovely but cold march afternoon?

me? well, thanks for asking. i'm frustrated.

i am still doing the weight watchers thing and am glad i have it as my guide. but for some reason, i seem to be sabotaging myself lately. wtf is up with that? let me explain.

up until now, i have been fantastic about being within my points and all that. but these last few weeks, i have not eaten as well and i know fully well that i am doing it. i'll start off well, but then have a snack attack and eat a bunch of stuff that is so NOT part of the menu. and then i feel like shit after i do it. yet i will go and do it again at a later time or another day.

then i sit there and try to analyze myself and figure out what is causing me to do this. my answer so far is emotional. of course, the job sucks. i've gone off the pill and my hormones seem to be a bit wacky as they are adjusting. if i am reading my body signs correctly, i may be close to getting my first period off the pill (so not looking forward to that). i have also been more tired and less organized when it comes to getting meals together for work and having the right snacks on hand.

so, i've figured that i need to get more organized and prep meals and snacks during the week for work. i also need to have some idea of what i am going to make for dinner for myself each night. it just gets so hard when i'm exhausted and would rather take the easy way out so that i can either sleep a few more minutes in the morning or go to bed a few minutes earlier in the evening. then there's the fact that my brain shuts off as soon as my ass hits the couch around 6 pm.

yeah, so being more organized. i can work on that. but does anyone out there have suggestions for stopping the sabotage snack attacks? i can be totally not hungry, but just feel this urge to snack on something......and i give in. it's like i HAVE to have it. so there's that strange craving, then the indulgence and then the guilt. yet, i still eat it. HELP!

am i wrong?

2010-02-23T15:06:00.000-08:00

lately, latifah has been house crazy. by that, i mean he wants us to buy a house. in the bay area. and he wants to get the ball rolling soon.

and i'm not really feeling it.

honestly, i have no urge to buy a house, especially in the bay area. if i had my way (and no ties to the bay) i would be living back in long beach in a cute little one bedroom apartment by the beach. and that would make me happy.

but all i've been hearing lately is "i think we need to invest in a house. why pay rent when it's comparable to a mortgage? i think we can qualify for a loan! i'd love to live in (insert city here) or (another city) or (yet another city). we really need to go and find out if we can qualify. you don't have any debts other than credit cards, right?"

of course, with this overload, i go into shut down mode. i get a bit defensive and don't want to be included in the conversation. honestly, it freaks me out and then i begin to overthink things.

why does he suddenly want to buy a house?
i don't want to live in the bay area forever. what if we have to sell?
what if i change my job or get so frustrated i have to just quit?
what if something happens with us and "we" don't last?
is this my subconscious way of letting myself know that i am feeling uncertain about our relationship?
why do i not want to just leap into this with both feet?
what is wrong with me?
am i not ready to grow up?

oh, it gets bad, people. i don't know what the answer is. all i know is that i am happy renting where we are at. i don't want to move again for a while...this i know for sure. perhaps it's because as a nanny, i've moved around a lot. since i've been born i've lived in:

lakewood, ca
long beach, ca
la habra, ca
signal hill, ca
fountain valley, ca
hillsborough, ca
burlingame, ca
san jose, ca
santa clara, ca
sunnyvale, ca
cupertino, ca

yeah, that's enough for now. i'd like to stay put for a bit. i think i also like my responsibilities where they are. maybe it's because i feel like i'm being pushed into a decision that i am not allowed to have equal influence over. hell, i give up on guessing.

argh, i dunno. this post could ramble on in 5 different directions if i kept typing. we'll see what evolves.

hormonal much?

2010-02-23T14:54:00.000-08:00

almost 2 weeks ago i made a big decision.

first, a little backstory. (and this may be a post with TMI, so be prepared) i have been on the pill for a little less than 3 years now. i had noticed about halfway into it that my um, drive (geesh, my mother is probably reading this) had started to lessen and in the present has waned to nothing. i did some research and learned that many women, when they go on the pill, end up losing their sex drive completely. it's the damn hormones (or lack thereof)!

at times i thought it was just me. or stress. or being tired. or whatever else happened to be going on at the time. but the more i researched, the more the signs pointed to the pill. so i made a decision, while consulting with my gyn.

i have gone off the pill completely.

i thought about switching to the pill i was on ages ago, which didn't seem to affect me. but then i thought i would like to get the pill completely out of my system first to see if that made any difference. i was willing to suffer through horrible cramps and periods again to at least feel like myself.

latifah agreed to me doing so and we are taking precautions (once again, blushing if mom is reading this.........but hell, i'm a grown woman, right? RIGHT?!). since stopping, i have noticed a few things:

my emotions are all over the place. in the last few days, i have felt like crying over a load of stupid things. my energy levels are slightly wacked. i can have highs and lows. and today? holy hell! i am super bitch. everything is pissing me off.

i also noticed that i had a reaction to coffee last night. usually i can drink a cup or two and go to bed a few hours later with no problem. but last night, i was wide awake for an hour after hitting the sack. not fun. then add to that a dog who wasn't doing well with sleeping on her own bed and multiply that by a latifah who couldn't fall asleep for about 3 hours after we laid down. add on a dog who didn't want to do her business on a walk this morning and factor in a grumpy boyfriend. top it all off with ALL the stupid people driving in front of me on the road and you get me: SUPERBITCH!!!

the only thing that scares me is what if it isn't my hormones adjusting right now? what if my highs and lows have nothing to do with the changes my body may be going through? work sucks, which makes me tired and frustrated and emotional and it freaks me out thinking that i could be dealing with a little bit of depression. i'm going to ride this out another week or two and see how i am doing. if i'm still feeling all out of wack, then i'll talk to my doctor.

for now, i'm just riding the waves. i'll see where they take me. i am still glad i made the decision to go off the pill for a while and see what happens. have any of you had similar situations? as always, i'd love to hear your POV.

loose.

2010-02-14T21:21:00.000-08:00

saturday we had sunshine and somewhat nice/warm weather!

so, i went into my closet to pull out a pair of capri pants. i hadn't worn them in a while and the last time i did, they were snug around my waist. when i put them on this time, they no longer fit. in the good way!!

my 2 favorite pairs of capris are now too big. 2 pairs of capris i bought on clearance a while ago and have not yet worn are too big. my last pair of jean capris are bagging.

and i am ecstatic!

i managed to find a pair with a drawstring waist that will still work. but then when i went to try on some shirts that i hadn't worn in a while, i realized that they were fitting different as well. they were your typical "plus size" shirts that are a bit longer in length to hide the gut. now when i put them on, i look like i am trying to hide a new pregnancy. i can't believe i actually am wanting to wear shirts that fit a little more snug!

to top it all off, i tried on a pair of keen sandals that i bought on super clearance before last summer. i haven't worn them much because the straps up near my toes were too tight across my foot. i wore them in oxford and ended up with heinous blisters due to the rubbing. but when i put them on this time, they were loose. i wore them all day and never even had them rub the wrong way. WAHOO!

to celebrate, i decided to go to one of my favorite stores, lucy. in the past, i've just bought yoga pants there because they were stretchy and fit. i had tried on regular pants there before and they were too tight, even in the biggest size. i figured i could be daring and at least try on some clothes and see what happened. plus, i had a gift card from my boss, so what harm could it do?

no harm at all! i tried on a pair of cargo pants that were super cute and new to their line. and they fit. perfectly. it was all i could do not to squeal with glee in the fitting room!! and yes, i did get them. :)

this was just the motivation that i needed to keep going. if it's like this after 20 pounds, i can't wait to see what it's like after 20 more! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

i'm so glad that i can see the results of my weight loss so far in my clothes and the way they are fitting.

20.5

2010-02-08T15:49:00.000-08:00

woohoo! in 2 months time i have lost just a smidge over 20 lbs!

i seriously can't believe that when i weighed in this morning, i was down again. after the last couple of weeks (and gaining a pound last week) i thought for sure that the stress and the emotional eating would have sabotaged me. but then i began to think about how over the weekend i really buckled down on food and used a lot more energy than usual and voila! it actually paid off.

speaking of emotional eating, i have realized that i am indeed an emotiona eater. when i get stressed, i want to eat. when i'm bored food seems to fill the void. but as good as the food may taste at that moment, it sure makes me feel like poo later, both physically and mentally.

over last week, i indulged in my fastfood weakness. it tasted SO good while i was eating it, but a few hours later, the mix of an upset belly and a whole lotta guilt kicked my butt. i have come to realize that it just doesn't pay to give in (except for maybe a planned cheat which is totally thought out in advance) to tempation. all you end up with is bad feelings all over the place.

during all this, i noticed that if i focus my energy elsewhere, not only do the emotional cravings subside, but i get a load of stuff accomplished. sunday, i got up early, went to the farmer's market, picked up coffee on the way home for latifah and myself and then kicked into laundry gear. i got the piles of laundry put away after months (the last thing in the bedroom that was waiting for finalization) and kept a positive attitude all day long. what a difference!

on saturday i also realized that i can't wallow in self pity forever. yeah, i ranted and whined and bitched about my job and stuff in general, but in the end it didn't really make me feel any better. all the crap was still there, regardless of how much i griped about it. and that was when i decided to take the high road. i decided to start finding the good and be grateful for all that i did have.

the most interesting thing about that is that as soon as i posted that out there into the internets (otherwise known as facebook), my ear that had been all plugged up cleared and a calm came over me. i turned downright giddy!

today i came into work and tried hard to keep the positive outlook. i kept telling myself that i couldn't control everything and that it wasn't all for me to worry about. it's now almost 4 pm and i don't feel completely exhausted and/or frustrated. i have done what i could do today (kids laundry, fixed their food, cleaned up after their meals, tidied our space, made them laugh, played with them and loved them) and let the rest slide off my back.

when i am negative, it affects others. i can see that i treat latifah like crap when i'm feeling like crap. he doesn't deserve that. i see how the kids react when i am trying to radiate some positivity and it's pretty amazing. we have had THE best monday in a long time. it really is true that you can't "sweat the small stuff".

and like a good friend said to me today "you aren't where you want to be just yet, but you have to be grateful that you are no longer where you were". true dat.

clean

2010-02-01T16:10:00.000-08:00

*insert huge sigh of relief here*

this weekend was a much needed cleanfest in our apartment. i woke up saturday morning with the intention of never leaving the house and cleaning/purging/organizing until i could no longer move. and that, my friends, is what i did.

latifah had a morning dentist appointment, so it was a great way to really get me started on the day. he was out of the house, the dog was lounging in her favorite patch of sun (yes! the sun was back this weekend! even better!) and i was in the clear to get a move on.

by the time he got back, i had finished our bedroom and the bathroom. i was beginning to work on the spare room and was deep in the middle of it when he stepped foot in the place. i only had to yell at him a few times to go about his business and let me finish what i started, but for the most part, he let me do my thing. he actually worked a bit more on the coffee table he's refinishing, so that made him feel productive as well.

by the end of the day i looked like shit, but the apartment felt almost 100% right. i kept walking by the spare room and admiring it, strictly because you could see the floor and the futon was all made up into couch formation and sit-able! even missy would walk in there and just walk around like it was a totally new place she had never visited.

we still have some of latifah's boxes to go through and the living room still needs a bit more organization. but i got SO much accomplished! i was able to wake up on sunday morning and know that there was nothing that i needed to do with the place that day. i haven't had that feeling of satisfaction in a looooooooooooooong time!

amazingly enough, this has gotten latifah motivated to clean out his boxes and go through his closets and finally get a move on with all his stuff. we plan to go donate a bunch of stuff this weekend and start figuring out my storage (what stays, what gets donated, what goes to possible garage sale). if it's not pouring rain AGAIN, he may even get the coffee table finished!

now some of you may be wondering why latifah doesn't take a more active role in cleanup. first of all, he's a man. :) i kid, i kid. sorta. seriously though, he knows this is my niche and i don't want anyone messing with the game plan. and i can get a helluva lot more done than he can in half the time. i am woman, see me organize!

not only that, but i actually planned meals for dinner this week! what has come over me!? tonight, it's crock pot brisket with green beans. weehoo!

the time has come

2010-01-28T11:22:00.001-08:00

this time i'm seriously serious.

this is a work related post, but i feel like i've been so negative over at my nanny blog lately that i should bring a little of that pessimism over to this side of things. :)

i've had it at this job. and i have a lot of reasons:

i'm tired of the kids always being sick. and not just a minor cold sick. we're talking sinus infection or ear infection sick. every. single. frackin. time.
i'm tired of parents who can't say no. it's just a word. it's not going to scar your kids. it's a little something called discipline.
i'm tired of this disgusting house. it's absolutely filthy. old food in the fridge. a carpet so gross i won't wear my socks only in the house. slippers at all times. i swear there's mold in the bathroom. clutter. missing things. half washed dishes put back in cupboards. stinky cutting boards. dirty clothes put back in dressers.
no leading by example. they want the kids to clean up after themselves, yet they never see mom and dad doing that. it's always me.
dad is a frackin idiot. i cannot tolerate conversations with him any longer. i don't find his humor the least bit humorous. and he thinks he knows it all about kids, but i hate to tell him that he doesn't know jack.
parents who after almost 5 years don't know how to put diapers on correctly.
same goes for wiping a damn baby's butt. don't leave bits of poop. not only is it gross but it gets in there and gives them irritation.
it's affecting how my personal life is lived. i do so much here that i don't want to do anything for/with my home. i'm exhausted at the end of the day and hate myself for it.
there is no organization in this house. toys are all over. food is random and improperly stored in the fridge. i can't open the pantry without stuff falling out since it's just thrown in there.
the embarrassment i suffer when i take the kids out in mismatched clothing the dad put them in or i realize the jackets i put them in are filthy, etc.
the most disgusting mini van i've ever driven in. i clean it out (to keep me from being totally grossed out) and a few days later it's gross again.
the parents hold the twins all. the. time. if dad walks in the door, they expect to be picked up immediately. at the same time. and he does. and if he tries to put them down, they scream as if they are being torn limb from limb.
i'm tired of being sick from them being sick. a blown eardrum, various infections, exhaustion have taken a toll on my body and my mind.
i deserve better than this. i am an awesome nanny and any good family would be lucky to have me.

current song/video addiction

2010-01-27T21:44:00.000-08:00

i loved this song when i first heard trisha yearwood sing it. and then garth brooks. but i have to say, i think adele knocks it out of the park. i think the tone of this video is just perfect, too.

enjoy.

feedback needed!

2010-01-26T10:56:00.000-08:00

hi guys and gals.

i just posted something over at my other blog and i'd love to have your feedback as well. you can either leave it in the comments over there or right below this post. in any case, go over there and read it and then respond.

thanks!!!

making plans.

2010-01-21T15:34:00.000-08:00

k is making me feel guilty (and i'm hoping she reads this so i can verbally pummel her. just kidding!).

she invited me out to a night at the local pub which has become her new favorite place. as is always the case, it seems that something comes up or something just doesn't work out to allow me to get out and over there. as much as i want to, my planets are not aligning.

and now she has broken me down to the point where i feel like a schmuck because i haven't manned up to going. but get this! i become determined to get out there this weekend or maybe the middle of next week and she has to rub it in that she is GOING TO HAWAII.

that's it. i'm just so going to have to beat her on quiz night. if we ever get to one at the same time. :)

the grass is always greener

2010-01-21T15:26:00.001-08:00

do you ever have those moments when you imagine what your life would be like if it wasn't exactly as it is?

i was thinking about what life would be like if i was living alone and single. and while i love latifah and the pupster, i have to admit that i miss having that time all to myself. when i first moved to the bay area, i was single and didn't really know anyone. i spent my off time on weeknights watching cable, wandering downtown and getting coffee, roaming the aisles of bookstores and vegging out on my terms. on weekends, i would get up early, drive into the city and play tourist. or i would stay local, explore the backroads of the area i was living and just do whatever i found appealing at the time.

now, with a boyfriend and a dog, life is a wee bit different. i miss having that alone time. i need it to decompress and to just clear my head. i think that's why part of me can't wait to get the spare room totally, totally, TOTALLY in order so that i can use it as my guitar space and my little place to hole up when i need that brain time.

i still find it hard to understand how latifah has to always be go, go, go. on weekends he loves to be out and about getting stuff done and not lounging around. he says he feels like he is wasting the day. i feel like i am wasting the day when i am not living in the moment. sometimes the weekend comes to an end and i haven't gotten anything accomplished and i'm just as exhausted as i was on friday night after a long week.

perhaps it's our backgrounds. perhaps it's our jobs. i am go, go, go all day long taking kids places, cleaning up, running errands, communicating with others. he is in one office all day long and sometimes doesn't really deal with any other people. he is lucky if he gets a chance to see what the weather is like outside. so, at the end of my day, i just want to hole up. at the end of his day, he wants to be out and about and active.

we make it work though. i cherish the time that he and i go on our weekend target run (even if we don't need anything). we have our routine in the store and i look forward to that time. things like that in our busy time make it all worthwhile.

but what i'd give to be able to take naps whenever i felt like it. :)

it's raining. it's pouring. i've lost almost 20 lbs.

2010-01-18T16:32:00.001-08:00

yeah, i know that doesn't rhyme. geesh.

so, um, it's raining and stuff. a lot. yesterday we got a smattering but today is vicious. it comes and goes but when it comes, it throws itself at the window and announces "I'M SOAKING YOU ALLLLLL! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" in a very evil tone.

this all makes me get so excited to go home so that latifah and i can take the girldog out for her evening stroll. she HATES the rain with a passion. it can sprinkle and she'll shake as if we've just poured some horrible, molten liquid all over her. pussy. oh wait.......

and, then there's that almost 20 pound dealie. i lost another 3 el beez this past week, bringing my grand total to 18. i'm hoping next weigh in will be at least 2 so that i can hit another mark. sadly, i am not really seeing it when i look in the mirror, but those smaller jeans i bought are telling me something. i regret that i didn't take measurements at the beginning. perhaps i do that at 20 lbs and take it from there. i need to lose another 81 lbs if i want to be at my healthy goal weight.

hell, why don't i just put the stats out there? this will make me so super accountable. ok. when i started ww on december 7, i weighed in at a whopping 249 lbs. cripes, i just told you how lardy i am/was. wow. i started as about a size 18/20 depending on who i was buying from. my jeans from old navy are my guide. i was wearing an 18 and am now in a 16 and they fit fabulously!

for anyone that's interested, at my thinnest, i think i was about 140 or so (as an adult). i look back on pictures and think that i was a little bit too thin for my height (5'8). and according to weight watchers and a few other sites, 15o is a good weight to be at. it's not the thinnest in my spectrum and it's not the heaviest. so that's what i'm aiming for.

i just want my knees to not ache so much. i want to not shop in the plus size section any longer. i've said it before: i want to wear boots that actually fit around my calves. i want to be able to have my fingers just touch when i put them around my wrist. i'd love a smaller bra size. i want my levels from my last blood tests to go down slightly. i want to look in the mirror and actually like what i see. i want to feel sexy again. :)

so, there you have it. i will get to the end of the weight loss road this time around. i have to. it's not just a matter of wanting to anymore. i have to do it in order to be healthy and cross things off the list of what i want to do in life!

i wonder how many calories i'd burn if i went out and danced in the torrential rain right now? "P

tomorrow will be better, right?

2010-01-12T12:20:00.000-08:00

i'm in such a funk today and it's not pretty.

our dog has been having some issues lately that have made me seriously reconsider if we are the right match for her. i feel that she may need someone that is home a lot who can train her constantly and give her all the energy, love and support they can. and if she had a yard to run around in.....something we don't have. we are at the point where we don't know what to do. just thinking about it makes me emotional. we rescued this beautiful girl and yet it feels like we are failing her. i know it could just be her disposition and there may be nothing we can do about it, but i still feel guilty for thinking of what other options are out there for her. i don't know how many times i've teared up today just thinking about everything. i've got to talk to some pros and see what their opinions are and then take it from there. latifah and i just feel like we're at the end of our rope and it's not good for her or us. we'll see what evolves.

then, the job is driving me crazy. it's still utter chaos here and all the plans we put into swing for organization have fallen by the wayside. i'm the only one who tries to keep up. as usual, i'm exhausted when i get home and everything that needs to be done there just sits. and sits. and sits some more. and i hate myself for it, but at the same time, i can't even bring myself to find the energy to start on a task.

i weighed myself on monday and gained a half a pound. i know that's nothing major, but i've beend doing so well, but had a craptastic emotional week last week and therefore, didn't do so well on the eating side of things. it was my own fault.

you put all three of these issues together and you get me as a sobbing, emotional mess who just wants to hole up in a cave and hide for days on end. i'm feeling a bit depressed and don't like that feeling.

some things need to change and quickly. i've been thinking about a lot of things and realize that i need to tweak life a little to get back into the way things should be. i've come up with a few ideas:

get up earlier and take the girl for a walk and let latifah sleep in a little. he's been getting up in the morning and walking her (his choice) and dealing with a lot of her issues she's been having. he needs a break and i think it may be a good way for me to start my day and clear my head.
we need to stay home this weekend and clean up our damn place. i haven't put laundry away in about a month or so and so now most of my clothes are in piles in our bedroom. i hate looking at it and i hate that i can't even get motivated enough at night when i get home to do something about it.
i need to go to bed earlier. i've been hitting the sack at 11 pm at the earliest. i'm thinking 10 on weeknights should be my time to snooze, especially if i'm going to get up earlier with the dog.
we've agreed to clean our dishes as we go, therefore, we leave the sink empty every day. i absolutely hate doing dishes (latifah too) so when they build up, it's just a thorn in my side.
i need to get back into writing. i have thoughts for short stories in my head, but haven't had time to get them onto paper. the writing is a release for me that i haven't used in SO long.
i have to get on a serious job search. i need to do some research about going back to school and grants/loans and all that jazz.
i need to take time for me. i love latifah, but sometimes i just need a break from him. he's very reliant on me and seeing as i have people relying on my all day long at work 5x a week, it's a bit much. i really wish he'd do stuff with friends more often or get out and do stuff on his own. i love to do stuff like that but he doesn't, or at least he makes no real attempt. i really just need a weekend by myself with naps, books and coffee.

merry belated christmas to me!

2010-01-11T21:32:00.000-08:00

isn't she lovely? this is my new takamine gs330s acoustic guitar. she was purchased by latifah for my belated christmas gift. we got her yesterday and i am chomping at the bit to get a bit of quality time with her. i'm aiming for this weekend.

she's a simple girl. there's nothing really fancy schmancy about her color or rosette detail. there's no special inlay in the fretboard. she is what she is and she's just gorgeous to me!

it's been forever since i've last played a guitar. back in grammar school i used to take lessons and played in the church choir for a few years. i had a takamine back then and loved it. mrs. jamison was the most awesome guitar teacher, so i hope she's looking down on me now and will offer some guidance as i start up the learning process again.

as soon as we walked into guitar center, i felt like i was in a tiny space of heaven. it's been so long since i've been around guitars, but once i was inside, i was purely giddy. seriously. i wanted to cry i was so happy. it's pretty amazing because i really didn't intend on feeling so overwhelmed with the place. we dealt with an old rocker dude that had the balding top of the head and the long grey hair in the back. he was also slightly hard of hearing. i'm thinking he was in a few jam bands in his time. lack of hearing aside, he was a fantastic salesman and was very no nonsense. he hooked me up with a music book, case and tuner. he also tuned the guitar, strummed a few bars and the rest is history. we'll definitely be dealing with him again in the future.

now i just need to deal with a dog who has no idea what a guitar is or why it makes the noises it does. looks like i will be practicing in the spare room with the door closed for a while. i'm thinking she would love to get her teeth into the noisemaker if she got the chance.

what was that quote about music soothing the savage beast? :)

merry new year!

2010-01-04T16:56:00.000-08:00

am i the only one that is glad that 2009 is DUNZO?!

latifah and i spent a quiet night at home with the dogface for new year's eve. i was in bed by 1230 and he followed soon after. we spent our extended weekend sleeping in and catching up on movies and battlestar galactica. party on.

i've made a few resolutions, but nothing major. well, ok....the weight loss thing, but i actually started that before the new year. last night i made a resolution to have a clean kitchen sink before going to bed every night. we just had a new garbage disposal installed (the big puddle under the sink told us to) and now that it works super duper, i'm all for getting dishes done.

another resolution was to get rid of all the stuff we don't need. slowly but surely that's coming to fruition. over the weekend i cleaned out all the bathroom stuff that had either expired, was no longer needed or was just not necessary. i also consolidated a lot of stuff in the kitchen and it's amazing how much better it all turns out. now we just need to work on our bedroom and spare room. once that's done, we clear out my storage and life will be clutter free! WAHOO!

oh, speaking of weight loss, i had another weigh in today. in a month (or just about) i've lost 15.5 pounds! i can't really see it yet (aren't we always the last to see our own improvements?) but i did go and buy a smaller size of jeans on friday!! i'll take that as a good sign!

loads more to talk about, but my work shift is almost over (monday survived? check). hope you are all enjoying the first bits of the new year! any resolutions? any epiphanies? share! love you all and hoping you're well.

it's been one of those days. again.

2009-12-16T14:37:00.000-08:00

but i'm not going to bore you to tears with details. let's just suffice it to say, it has blown. but i'm trying to focus on the positive stuff in my life and squish down the negative. at least, as much as you can squish 3 sick kids and their lame parents down.....i'm just sayin.

on a good note, let's talke weight watchers. did i tell you all that i joined? well, i did. my first week's weigh in was on this past monday and................(drumroll).....................I LOST 5 POUNDS!

i'm slowly getting back into the groove of ww, as i have done it before. i'm getting better at getting the necessary amount of water into me during the day, although with the time i spend in the bathroom it seems i've been drinking TOO much! :) i'm learning about foods with more fiber that are more filling so that i stay full feeling longer. but once again, hello bathroom!

i really wish latifah was more willing to do it along with me. but he's a stubborn man and wants what food he wants. and bless his little island soul. i won't tell him how much i weigh, but he wants to know. he says "i love you hon, so why don't you tell me?" to which i shun his questioning. so then he started to try and guess how much i weighed and he quoted a number way below my weight. i love that he thinks i'm smaller than i actually am! :)

when i get down to near what i want to be, i'll share the before and after weight with everyone. right now though? it's my little secret!

i so want to see this

2009-12-16T12:15:00.001-08:00

the babies in the beginning so remind me of the twins. biting and all.

what's happenin, hot stuff?

2009-12-09T15:28:00.000-08:00

so, guess what i've had to do the last 2 mornings? scrape ice off my car! we've gotten down to below freezing in the bay area over the last few nights, making me very glad that i spent the dollar on the ice scraper from the bargain bin at target a month ago!

a good thing about the cold is that our dogface has become very efficient when it comes time to "go". she gets out there, does her stuff and then books it right back home. she gets to warm up fast and so do we! i must admit, we have been using her as natural heat for our bed at night. she emits the best body heat when she's wedged in the middle of both of us. and waking up with a dog's face on your pillow and her paw wrapped around your waist is pretty sweet. :)

i actually had to go and dig out my winter gear from storage this past weekend. sweatshirts weren't cutting it any longer and i was yearning for scarves and hats. i know that anyone from the east coast is calling me a wuss right about now, but this is butt freezin' cold for california, so there! i've been in boston in january, so i know the cold. but this isn't normal for us cali folk!!!

latifah and i and dogface will be heading down to so cal for the xmas holiday. my sister will be in town with the bookends (my niece and nephew) and latifah has yet to meet the little man. we also have a load of people we want to see and catch up with, so we are making the most of our adventure. plus, i hear there will be homemade tamales on xmas day......

and, the most recent news is that i've started weight watchers again. it's been ages since i did it last, but felt that i really should do something about my expanding backside. monday was the first official day. i'm getting back into the swing of it, but am so craving the crap i used to eat. what i wouldn't give for a bacon/egg/cheese biscuit from jack in the box. i may treat myself after my weigh in on monday. i have been doing well with the points and making sure i get plenty of fiber into my meals. i've also been drinking way more water than usual. the combo of lots of water and lots of fiber has been fun (i won't go into details. you're welcome). now if i could just squeeze some time in to get to the new gym at our complex, it would be all good!

i must now go and crank the heat in this house. it's either too hot or not working right, so i'm always screwed at work. brrrr! have a good day!

frumptastic

2009-12-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

nothing like going and looking at THIS set of photos and then suddenly feeling very unfashionable. i think i want to be her when i grow up. sigh.

to do list

2009-12-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

work on more flickr pictures
look into grants and loans for school
look into school
update resume
clean out storage
clean out spare room
grocery shop, like, yesterday
clean out car
clean out brain
dl renewal
vehicle registration renewal
take picture for xmas cards
give dogface a bath
paint my toenails
email about balcony missing pieces
ask for days off at xmas
look into starting weight watchers again
start writing out ideas for possible nanny stories/book
wax spastic eyebrows
order prescription online/via mail
refill flea prescrip for dogface
get old pictures off of both cameras
load baptism pics for mom and sis
learn to 'let it go'

the swell season

2009-11-25T13:56:00.001-08:00

o. m. g.

i am absolutely, madly, completely in love with the swell season. they are a duo that sings some of the most beautifully arranged songs i've ever heard. ages ago i heard them open up for damien rice when latifah and i saw him at the paramount in oakland. we really enjoyed them and then sort of forgot about them.

a movie came out called "once" based on their story (and which i still have yet to watch!) and renewed my interest a bit. but once again, they sort of fell by the wayside.

recently, a friend of my sister's was singing their praises on facebook and it peaked my interest. she had gone to see them in boston and we started to talk about them. next thing i know, i am purchasing their latest cd "strict joy" at target and falling in love.

their music is just gorgeous. the sound is pure. the emotion is strong. the words are brilliant. yeah, i kind of like them. :)

but judge for yourself. this video is a song from the movie "once" that actually won an oscar.

this song is off their latest cd "strict joy".

gps won't help me now

2009-11-25T13:45:00.000-08:00

yesterday i was completely overwhelmed by the show of support and motivation from my dear friends. seriously, i was blown away and just about in tears from all their kind words.

i was feeling a bit scared in the fact that all i've done in the past 10+ years was cared for other people's children. part of me wonders if i can really do anything else. i never finished school and i've never really done anything else other than a load of retail and some teacher aiding in middle school.

but then i read what my circle of friends had to say:

Have you thought about maybe using this opportunity to go back to school and figure out what you'd LOVE to do with your life? Seriously...there are loans and grants and all that to take care of the $$ issue!

go outside your comfort zone. Trust me. 2 years ago when my industry imploded I was scared to death. Got my feelers out and ended up doing something I never thought I'd be doing and it was the best decision I ever made in my life. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen.

Why should deadbeats who milk the system be the only ones to get help from Uncle Sam? If it's easy for them to do, it should be a breeze for you as well. You are in a very unique and exciting position, Shelly. You have an opportunity to do something AMAZING with your life. Look around an office. Any office. How many of those people do you think said "That's what I want to be when I grow up"? You can do this.

a few also said i should write a book with all the stories and incidents i have dealt with in my nanny career. honestly, that has been an idea tucked back in my brain for a few years now. bringing it back to the surface really struck a chord in me. mix that with the words of encouragement to break out and make something happen, and i was just completely at a loss for words (which doesn't happen very often!).

this left me thinking of what my options were. and for the first time, i feel like i actually have some!

quit nannying completely and fall into some other career.
keep nannying but for another family without sickly twins.
go back to school and find my passion.
work part time and go to school.
win the lotto and travel the world. :)

in any case, all those options will also include giving writing my "nanny memoirs" if you will, a try. why not, right?

i think i'll spend the weekend with my family talking about my options and getting feedback from them. i'll also spend the time taking deep breaths and preparing to leap.

i'm excited.

siiiiiiiiiigh

2009-11-24T13:53:00.000-08:00

it used to be that when things were bad or at least not going the way i intended in life, i would write about it. i have journals filled with the trials and tribulations of my life. you could tell when i was happy because there were big gaps in entries. i was too busy being happy, simple enough.

now it seems that i only want to write IF i am actually feeling happy, is not often enough. i could vent and complain and bitch and moan, but i feel that nobody wants to read it. not only that, but it no longer seems to help. after i vent and complain and bitch and moan, i dont feel any better.

btw, if you wonder why there arent any apostrophes in some of my words....its because blogger is being weird. whenever i hit the apostrophe key, it takes me to a quick link thing. dont know why, but its bugging the bejeezus outta me.

anyhoo, i think its just gotten to the point where instead of just venting, i need to do something about why i feel like a big ol pile of blah. so, i am. i have officially decided that i am going to see what is out there on the job front. i need to get out of the no win work situation i am in. i need to focus on me. i need to realize that the stress i am under with work is doing no good. as much as i try it doesnt make a difference. so, why not see what is out there for me? why not check out job prospects? if nothing pans out, at least i have a secure, if not miserable job. if i look, i may find something that will make me want to write happy entries again.

but at least its a start!

guess what i'll be doing in june?

2009-11-18T13:52:00.000-08:00

here's a hint.........

nothing says friday the 13th like a doctor visit!

2009-11-13T12:45:00.000-08:00

first of all, i've learned that it doesn't pay to get to your appointment early. especially if your doctor is always late. more on that later.

this morning i woke up with a parched throat, phlegm in various upper respiratory places and feeling just MIGHTY fine. i figured i wouldn't take any meds of any sort so that doctor lady could see what all the fuss was about.

i get to kaiser about 20 minutes early and sign in. and then i wait. and wait. and wait. i made a mental note never to get there that early ever again, as it has never paid off. finally, about 10 minutes after my scheduled time, i am called in. the nurse (who is my favorite, btw) gets the scale ready and asks me "did you see dr. m come in while you were out there?" to which i reply no and she sighs: "she's late EVERY SINGLE MORNING and still has to see her 8:30 appointment (mine was 8:50).

luckily though i didn't have to wait too long for her to come and see to me. my ears look good (still paranoid about another ruptured eardrum), she didn't hear any rattling around in my chest and the throat was all good. she says it seems that with the mix of the construction going on that is stirring up all sorts of stuff plus the combination of working for a family where the kids share all their illnesses with me is bringing up worse allergies. and i could be lucky enough to be getting little bouts of colds spread throughout. yay me.

she wrote me prescriptions to renew the 2 inhalers i had with my eardrum fiasco. she said she's most worried about keeping the breathing under control, since the allergies have been wreaking havoc on my lungs. so, i'm now back to taking one steroid inhaler puff 2x a day and then have the albuterol for as needed. i picked up some zyrtec and some powerful allergy eyedrops and was on my way.

it's nice to just have validation on feeling like poo. and now that i have some remedies for the poo feelings, i can be on my way to getting better in a bunch of facets in my life. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY B-DAWG!

2009-11-12T16:48:00.000-08:00

i'd like to wish my dearest, sweetest, most sarcastic bff a fantastic friday the 13th birthday! i know i'm posting this on the 12, but at least this way i don't forget!

thank you for being one of the best friends a girl could ask for. thank you for sharing my sense of humor and being able to read my thoughts when words just won't do.

thank you for your amazing 3 kids that never fail to lighten up my day. thanks for marrying a pain in the ass that keeps the banter witty.

and last, but not least, thank you for being my rumored life partner. :) love you BFF! <3

so, doc............

2009-11-12T16:39:00.000-08:00

i'm going to the doctor tomorrow.

after the last cold i had decided to not go away (or morph into this sinus/allergy/snotfest thing) i figured that perhaps i should go and see a professional and have THEM tell me why i feel like a big ol' pile of doo.

i know that she's going to tell me i'm overweight and need to do something about it. i know i do and yet i haven't. lord knows i've tried to eat better and be more energetic. but when i get home at 6 and am exhausted from a day of working with 3 children and toting them all over and back, it's tough. during the day, if i get a chance to eat it's because we were out and i ran drive thru for myself. there is never anything at the house to eat, so it's my option. and when i get home, i've been the solo one home for a while. latifah has been covering for his assistant who has been off work for a couple of weeks and is going to go away for 2 more weeks starting on monday.

so, i'm the one who comes home, deals with an ADD dog, walks her, calms her, finds something to fix for dinner and then tries to get stuff done around the house. more than likely i will end up on the couch zoning out with a dog sleeping in my lap and wondering how i just missed the last hour of whatever was on tv.

weekends are spent catching up on all we don't get done during the week. and before you know it, it's monday again. the groceries i bought don't always get used because i'm too tired to prep stuff at night for the next day and i would have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn to fix a decent lunch and right now i covet any sleep i can get.

vicious freakin cycle. and i know i need to fix it, but there never seems to be a right time.

um, yeah, so long tangent over.........i'm ready for her to ream me for being a fat ass. and more than likely if she does, i could end up crying. i've been slightly emotional lately and that's just LOADS of fun. if i'm lucky, she'll suggest a therapist. it's not such a bad idea.

but i do want to know what the hell is going on with me. my bet is it's allergy related. it's either the dog or the construction or a mix of both. it seems that when she started to get a bit more psycho (see http://pupandcircumstance.blogspot.com for that), my allergies attacked my face.

*shrug* i don't know. all i know is that i'm tired of just about everything and would like a miracle cure that makes all the ick of all sorts go away.

**ramble over.....please proceed to the nearest exit**

i've got nothing

2009-11-09T13:44:00.000-08:00

a few too many rounds of 'bejewled blitz' on facebook has totally turned my brain to mush. i'll be back in shape by tomorrow. :)

sickly sick sicko

2009-11-03T15:37:00.000-08:00

a few weeks ago i caught the cold that the twins at work had.

i thought i was getting over it. however, now i feel like crap again but in a different way. i have been having a harder time breathing (almost like mini asthma attacks) and am producing huge amounts of clear, normal snot. i blow my nose a trillion times a day and it never stops. i'm thinking that perhaps it is a bad allergy reaction to something, but i really have no idea. in any case, i am so tired of feeling like poo!

i'm going to try and schedule a doctor's appointment in the near future, but who knows how that will work with my work schedule. all i know is that i need a solution to what ails me. fast.

dear mother nature....

2009-10-15T15:37:00.000-07:00

are you pmsing?

monday it poured rain. it was windier than all get out. it was cold.

yesterday was gloomy, but slightly muggy. it looked like it should be colder outside, but when i walked out into the open, my first thought was EW.

and today? the sun is shining a little too hard. it's a warm day. i got in my car to head to find some lunch this afternoon and the inside was BOILING. for the first time in 2 days i didn't want to be all snuggled inside.

i'd really appreciate it if you could make up your mind and stay a bit consistent with the weather for a while. it was great that my car got a natural wash and that i got to break out my new furry hoodie, but now my sinuses are trying to figure out wtf you are up to and my winter clothes are feeling like they've been teased.

let's go one way or the other. i'll deal with whatever, as long as it lasts more than 2 days at time.

sincerely yours,
shoe.

i'd take the stairs.

2009-10-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

when it rains, it pours

2009-10-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

literally.

and i'm loving it. i want to be back in oxford and walking down the road into town. i want some nifty rainboots and a funky water repellant jacket. dangit, all my winter hats are in storage.

i love the sound of the rain. the smell. the way everything looks covered in drops. how clean my car looks. :) i'm thinking that perhaps i'm destined to live in seattle.

the down side is that i want to be home, in my sweats with a good book, a warm dog, latifah and the blankets pulled up to our chins. i want to take long naps as the sound of the rain lulls me to sleep. i want hot chocolate. mmmmm, with marshmallows and fresh whipped cream.

am i sinning as a native californian? i'm supposed to love the sunshine and all that jazz, right? but i'm such a fan of this type of weather. it makes me positively giddy (and sleepy).

i think i may just have to go splash in some puddles.

if i had a superpower

2009-10-12T16:38:00.000-07:00

at this point, i'd like to make time stand still. that way i could get everything done that i needed to do and not waste any time doing it.

too bad i already sold my soul for eternal youth and beauty...........

it's about that time

2009-10-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

this is usually the point in the year when i begin to think about the new year and how excited i am that it's coming up.

the chaos of a new school year will be pretty mellow by then. the major holidays will be over and done with. the stress levels will dissipate a little. my birthday will be approaching....you know...all the good stuff.

why is it that this time of the year always sneaks up and attacks? it will be halloween in about 2 weeks and then holiday time is on. for cripe's sake, there are already christmas cards and some decorations in target. that should be freakin' illegal. every year i say i am going to be prepared for christmas. it never happens. one minute it's the middle of summer and the next minute we have 3 shopping days left until christmas. wtf?

i think that latifah and i truly need to plan an honest to goodness vacation in the new year. perhaps in the spring. neither one of us has had a vacation strictly to get away in who knows how long. i think the last time i really went on vacation just to go was when i was still living in so cal, still engaged to the schmuck and working in a nanny job i truly loved. ages ago. that's like 10 years ago. how sad am i?

we want to go somewhere neither one of us have ever gone before. we want to go where we have no family members (no offense!) and no obligations. i'm rooting for ireland, but i'll be happy for somewhere in the US that we've never seen (NY would be nice).

i think 2010 will be the year of travel. we'll take all of those lovely people who have offered a place to stay on their offer. we'll mark places off our list. we'll buy silly magnets and send postcards. i know we've been talking about working on finding weekend getaways nearby that you can drive to and allow pets, so that will be the first step.

where have you been? where should we go? is it just me or when you read through sunset magazine you want to rent a motorhome and see the united states? :)

dude, it's friday

2009-10-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

and in 1.5 hours i will be OFF.

OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF!!!!!!!!!

and what's sad is that i am excited to be at home this weekend and clean. and organize. and put about a month's worth of laundry away instead of having it in various parts of my bedroom and spare room. YES! **fist pump**

i can't stop watching/listening to them

2009-10-09T14:13:00.001-07:00

i'm addicted. seriously. go watch all their stuff. now.

parasites suck

2009-10-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

happy wednesday, y'all. no, i'm not southern, other than a southern californian. but i'm about to hit my witching hour at work and i'm feeling punchy. don't mess.

so how awesome is my mutt? she's in full gangsta lean in that picture. and her smile? she's happy to be hanging out at my brother's house with his million year old green carpet. she doesn't have a care in the world.

that is until she got home and the following night she developed a horrible case of the shits which led the doctors to diagnose her with giardia. in case you're not familiar with the parasite, you can read all about it HERE. at first we thought she got it from something at my brother's house, but it turns out the parasite hangs out in the animal for 1-2 weeks before showing signs of infection. that means she got it at home. that means she got it from some other dog's poop that was left in the ivy or dirt where we walk her.

latifah and i are adamant about picking up her poop wherever we are. it's common courtesy and we always make sure to have a baggie with us when we walk her, no matter what. but it seems like we are the only people in our complex that do so. and now, because of that, she ended up getting sick. and having explosive diarrhea in her crate. twice. and then ending up with blood in her stools. and vomiting in my car. three times.

i rushed her to the vet and they took a sample of her said poo. they hit us up with some meds and said they would get the results of her labs back the next day. giardia it was. i was stumped as to how she could have gotten it, not realizing she got it before we had gone on our so cal trip.

so now i'm thinking of writing a letter to the complex managers and letting them know that there are dogs with parasites whose owners are leaving their poop out for others to come in contact with. not only can animals get it, but so can humans. not cool.

missy girl is on her last pill (to be taken tonight) and has gone back to fairly normal poo time. she's back to her normal spazoid self (when she was sick she would sleep all day....SO unlike her) and gaining back the little bit of weight she lost.

but now we're paranoid dog parents. we don't let her walk in the ivy any more. we make sure that we clean her paws super well when we come home. we are taking a flashlight with us at night just in case she starts to sniff at something we can't see right away.

and we're looking into getting pet insurance. :)

murphy's freakin law

2009-10-06T15:08:00.001-07:00

i'm living it.

let's see........in the last week, i have gotten a massive cold (thanks kids!), my dog developed a case of giardia and i had to rush her to the vet, i pulled a muscle in my back and i haven't slept worth a poop.

you'll understand if i don't have much i feel like discussing right now.

congress created dustbowl

2009-09-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

driving back from southern california this past weekend along the I-5, we kept coming across signs like this one:
and i wondered what it was all about. so, thanks to modern technology, i pulled out my phone and hit up the internet. below is a video explaining what it is all about. and everytime i read more about it or watch something else on it, i am so saddened.

no words

2009-09-28T10:48:00.001-07:00

this is amazing. it's part one of 2.....

part 2

the way 'single ladies' should be

2009-09-25T14:43:00.000-07:00

my newest youtube addiction.........

you'll think about this next time...

2009-09-25T14:28:00.001-07:00

the next time you see birds on a wire, i bet you'll wonder what song they are making:

Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

ps22 chorus

2009-09-25T14:26:00.001-07:00

i watch these kids on youtube when i'm feeling a bit frustrated or blue. they do the trick everytime. or they just make me bawl like a dork. either way....enjoy.

i go back to may 1937

2009-09-24T14:53:00.000-07:00

a student reading sharon old's poem at the poetry out loud competition....one of my favorites.

write?

2009-09-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

right.

for those of you that have known me for basically forever, you know that i used to write. all the time. mainly poetry, but i filled journals full.

and then for some reason, it just stopped. poof. i don't know why, but it did. maybe life got in the way or maybe it meant that i was too happy to be writing (i tended to write when i was frustrated or down, etc). whatever the case, it stopped for a while, but i thought it would always come back.

unfortunately, i feel like it hasn't. by that, i mean that i sit and try to write and nothing comes to me. nothing flows from my brain down my arm, into my hand and out of the pen like it used to. the first time i had that writer's megablock it freaked me out. what if i could never get it back?

so, i put it to the side again. life has kept me so busy that i can't even keep my head screwed on straight. but there is an itching deep inside that is telling me i need to try again. and i want to. but i don't know how to start again. i know i need to devote time. i know i need to hit the release valve on my brain and let a little out so i can let a little more in. but how?

i actually just did a search on youtube for sharon olds. are any of you familiar with her? she's absolutely my favorite female poet. i had the incredible chance ages ago back in college to go hear her read along with galway kinnell and it was life changing. i was lucky enough to meet her afterwards and thank her for her words. i was totally starstruck. :) i'd sell my left leg to be able to write like her. one of my favorite poems of hers follows at the bottom of this post.

anyhow, i found people reading her poems and video of her actually reading as well. i think i'll start there for inspiration. if any of you have favorite poets please share. i'd love to hear about them.

Topography by Sharon Olds

After we flew across the country we
got in bed, laid our bodies
delicately together, like maps laid
face to face, East to West, my
San Francisco against your New York, your
Fire Island against my Sonoma, my
New Orleans deep in your Texas, your Idaho
bright on my Great Lakes, my Kansas
burning against your Kansas your Kansas
burning against my Kansas, your Eastern
Standard Time pressing into my
Pacific Time, my Mountain Time
beating against your Central Time, your
sun rising swiftly from the right my
sun rising swiftly from the left your
moon rising slowly form the left my
moon rising slowly form the right until
all four bodies of the sky
burn above us, sealing us together,
all our cities twin cities,
all our states united, one
nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

reuniting and it feels so good

2009-09-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

this weekend i will be heading down to so cal for a mini reunion with most of my 8th grade graduating class. i cannot freakin wait!

see, 14 of us went from 1-8th grade together. our 8th grade graduating class had a total of 29 in it....about 20 of which were girls. we were tight and thanks to facebook, many of us have reconnected and/or managed to stay in touch. someone mentioned meeting up at the school carnival that is held every year and many of us ended up running with it.

i believe there will be about 15 at least from my class of '86 as well as some from the year before and the years after. all in all, it should be quite fun and so interesting to see how everyone looks and what everyone's been up to!

we will be taking over the beer garden for the evening. when we were younger, we all talked about how one day we would be grown up and able to hang out in the beer garden. that time has finally arrived and we plan to take full advantage of it!

here is our class picture from 4th grade. i am on the bottom row, 3rd from the right in the red, tacky hawaiian shirt:hot, i know. i was so down with the fashions of the time. it's so hilarious to look back at the fashions and the hairstyles. we thought we were all that.

here's the majority (minus a few boys) of our 8th grade class. we were studying for a vocab test (hence the books in our hands). this picture was the last picture in our 8th grade graduation dinner slideshow and of course we were all brought to tears. i am the 3rd person from the left standing with the short blonde hair and the book in front of my face:
i'm wondering if we can try and recreate this picture when we all meet up. :) pictures and stories will follow after the weekend!

invisible hurdles really do a number on your shins

2009-09-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

i tried last night. i really did.

i got home and loved on my dog a bit. we hit up our walk earlier than normal and when we got back, i set to clearing the table and prepping for dinner. my new magazine came in the mail so i gave myself 20 minutes to browse through it and then i began making dinner.

i wanted to sort of take my time on dinner seeing as latifah was working late and he wasn't sure when he'd be finishing up. i scrubbed the potatoes for baking, i husked the corn for boiling and i got the chicken ready for cooking. after about 45 minutes, everything was done. and latifah wasn't yet home.

so, i ate by myself. one of the things i don't want to do in all this is sit and eat by myself. i want someone else there to hold me accountable. but i had to eat solo (and that's not to say i didn't enjoy the BEST baked potato i have ever made) and that was slightly depressing. after dinner i put latifah's plate in the microwave and was going to put away laundry.

this was when latifah called and we spent the next half hour going over a car rental debacle and cancelling a reservation and making another one. i love the man, but sometimes i have to hold his hand and walk him through things. they synapses in my brain pretty much stopped connecting at that point.

after the phone call, i decided to go and look for last year's norton antivirus/internet security stuff so that i could fill out this years rebate form. i did get some exercise tearing apart the spare room trying to remember where we had put it. after finding it totally by accident (thanks box, for falling open on the floor), i got all that info together and latifah walked in the door.

by this time it's 9 something at night. he's exhausted. i'm exhausted. it's warm in the apartment. i can barely keep my eyes opened. but somehow i manage to talk with him about his day, look over the car rental paperwork, look over the rebate paperwork and clean up from dinner.

11 pm rolls around before i know it and i can't stay awake any longer. half the things i wanted to accomplish were still waiting in the wings. going to bed earlier didn't happen (you're so right rebecca!) and i was grumpy.

3 in the morning and i am in a super deep sleep. latifah wakes me up to tell me that the dog is whining in her crate. i let her out and she is super excited to be with us on the bed. latifah starts talking to her while i am being beat with her tail. needless to say, i high tail it into the spare room and crash out on the futon, only to have to wake up and close the door because the dog keeps coming in to check on me.

6 am rolls around and i feel like i've been hit by a mack truck. i go back into the bedroom and crash for another half hour. latifah is kind enough to go walk the girl at 630 and instead of getting up to start the day, i ended up crashing out until 7 am. this messes up my whole gameplan for the morning.

and now, here i sit. we'll see how this evening goes, considering we are supposed to have a heatwave that is going to kill any energy i may have left.

good intentions count for something, right?

and btw, thanks to those of you that commented. rebecca, you are dead on about the sleep. i haven't had good sleep in years. and the last few weekends i haven't had a chance to do any sort of sleeping in. buff, you've got my moral support for sure. we can do this, even if it takes forever and a day. and anonymous, i hear you on the employers. i really do. if i knew there was a job waiting for me out there, i'd be gone in a flash. but, in reality, there isn't. and i can't take the chance at being unemployed right now. i am just trying to make my time here as easy and smooth flowing as possible. and for the most part, it is. it's just when things go wrong they REALLY go wrong.

and now my fat free chocolate milk awaits. xx

the incredible shrinking ass

2009-09-21T16:07:00.000-07:00

this time it's for reals, y'all.

i'm making changes (albeit little ones at times) to make myself better physically (and i'm sure that will lead to mentally as well).

i'm tired of being tired. all. the. time. it sucks and it just makes me want to curl up under the covers and cry. i need to break the vicious circle somehow and just get going on making my ass smaller and my innards cleaner.

i'm tired because i am overweight. i am overweight because i am tired. you can see my struggle there, right? i've decided i just have to grin and bear the tiredness and get my ass moving again, slowly but surely. i have to make my meals for the day ahead of time. i have to stay away from the drive thru. i have to organize my home as well as my brain. i have to start fitting all the strangely shaped puzzle pieces back together in order to see the whole picture instead of stressing out over the little segments i've tried to complete.

i have goals:

i want to look in the mirror and like what i see.
i don't want to shop in the plus size section anymore (don't get me wrong, they have cute stuff sometimes. i just want to have the option to look in the other stuff).
i want energy to get me through the day and not just until about 2 pm.
i want to see what my boyfriend sees in me (bless him...he loves me no matter what. but i want to feel like what he sees....make sense?)
i don't need to be skinny. i just need to be healthier.
i want my knees and back to stop hurting.
i want to wear boots that fit around my calves.
i want my complexion back.
i want cute clothes from lucy.
i want to be happy. and right now, i'm not fully able to be.

i don't want this time to be like all the other times when i said i'm going to do something about it and don't. this time it's for real and if i fail in any way, i want you to get on me about it. i need to take responsibility for my ass. and i shall.

skype

2009-09-17T11:41:00.000-07:00

i would like to thank the inventors of skype for opening up the world just a little bit more.

i'd like to thank them for letting me be able to chat for free across the pond while i was in the uk. i'd like to thank them for allowing me to catch glimpses of my nephew in real time in all his glory.

i actually skyped to my brother while i was in oxford and he happened to be at my parents' house at the time. it was hilarious to see my parents figure out what the hell was going on and that we were actually having a REAL live convo right there on the computer. and that got them so interested that they have actually purchased a webcam and have set up their own account. now THAT'S saying something!

do you skype?

damn, i love when everyone naps at once!

2009-09-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

1. Name three types of people who should qualify for forced labor camps:

stage moms that force their children into talent/pageant shows
people that instill fear of animals in their children
republicans

2. What was the last thing you ate?

wheat thins and boursin cheese.

3. What’s a goal you have?

to win the lotto and run away from the world.

4. What do you think of entertainment awards shows?

just another excuse for drama.

5. How do you want to die?

-of old, old, old age.

6. What is your favorite vacation/get-away spot? Where will you be traveling next?

london? key west? boston? traveling down to socal next for a brief appearance.

7. How do you pronounce “gyro?”

-Yee-ro.

8. What have you found entertaining lately?

my dog learning how to be a total kiss ass.

9. Do you follow any blogs of nondescript people who you don't know? Why do you follow those blogs?

a majority of the blogs i follow are of people i don't know. i like to live vicariously through others, apparently.

10. What would you use a time machine for?

go back and spend more time with my granny. go ahead and see what all goes down.

11. What is your favorite restaurant?

*i can't remember the name, but it's a place in vegas that sells nothing but chicken strips with a killer sauce and amazing fries and sweet tea.
*the burger hut in chico, ca.
*various thai places in the bay area
*the hidden food court in chinatown in boston that is now no longer there. RIP little buddy.

12. What actors should be barred from acting?

Andy McDowell
Jessica Simpson

13. What’s the last book you read?

I am currently reading "Schulz" about the life of the creator of "Peanuts".

14. What’s the last movie you enjoyed?

in the theater? i can't remember. last on video was "he's just not that into you".

15. Reveal something that really bothers you.
people who stare....especially when i am pulling into my complex and all eyes follow me. i know i'm hot but geez.

16. What will it say on your gravestone?

Always a kid at heart.

17. Put your iPod on shuffle and list the first three songs that come up, then explain yourself:

*I Left My Wallet in El Segundo- Tribe Called Quest. This song makes me think of my sister working it out everytime I hear it. Word.
*Shabby Doll- Elvis Costello. He's the man. 'Nuff said.
*All My Loving- Paul McCartney. Does that man ever age? Long live the Beatles!

18. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Honey child, my life has been full of them. But I think it may be money management.

19. What kind of toppings do you generally request for your pizza?

extra cheese, spinach, garlic.

20. Who/what would you love to have complete control over?

justice.

21. What does your ideal Saturday consist of?

sleeping in and snuggling with the boy and the dog....going for coffee, people watching, going with the flow.

22. What is one skill you lack completely but wish you could master with the snap of your fingers?

styling hair. i suck.

23. What's something you live in constant fear of?

wasting time.

24. What was the first album you listened to non-stop, over and over again?

the joshua tree. U2. mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

25. Have you ever seen a live, wild rat? How about a dead one?

both and don't want to ever again. thank you.

26. What thing have you most aggressively promoted?

Neko Case.

27. Is there a band or musical trend you would love to see erased completely?

Jona Bros. Miley Cyrus. Jessica Simpson.......

28. If you had to describe yourself using 3 words, what would they be?

-I'm just me.

29. Where is the last place that you'd see yourself living?

in a cozy house surrounded by books and pets and the sound of the ocean.

30. What was the last video you enjoyed on the internet?

one from OhCurt. Love him.

31. What is your favorite smoothie combination?

the most fattening one at Jamba Juice, of course. It's got chocolate and peanut butter. C'mon.

32. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to your car?

Accident that was my fault because I made a left turn.

33. What album have you been listening to most?

Incubus' Greatest Hits.

34. What clues you into a person's idiocy?

"Oh! You're the NANNY?"

35. What is your favorite store to wander through?

-It's a toss up betwixt Target and REI and Ikea.

Why don't you fill this survey out for yourself?

for the love of corona

2009-09-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

as you all know, yesterday was monday.

so, when i got home, you can bet your arse that i was in need of a cool, refreshing beverage. and a corona was just what the doctor ordered. i popped a cold one out of the fridge and dug out a lime from the fruit bowl. i grabbed my trusty new paring knife and prepared to slice off a chunk of lime to toss into the bottle.

but instead, i sliced the middle of my right hand open. nothing says ouch like the searing pain that tears through your skin seconds after you slice it open. i didn't even look at it. i just grabbed a clean towel and squeezed it as hard as i could. i waited for the blood to come gushing out from between my fingers, but that never happened.

i did manage to get about an inch long cut right in the center of my palm. it would gape open slightly if i moved my hand but there wasn't much blood and it didn't feel like my hand was going to fall off. so i washed it and bandaged it and went back to the task at hand. beer.

i gingerly sliced off a smidgen of lime and slid it down the neck of the bottle into the yummy mexican goodness that is a cold corona. then, i stood in the entryway to my kitchen and took the first swig.

and then the second. and then contemplated dinner. and then the third. ok, so i finished the beer that injured me before even making dinner. i'm wondering if it took me so long to make dinner after because i had a beer on an empty stomach or the monday work frenzy just wore me out. whatever the case, this girl was beat by the time latifah got home from working late.

in the end, i decided that the wound was worth it, as that was one of THE best coronas i have had in a long time. today it pretty much looks like a rough scratch on my palm.

i'm a bit bummed i can't milk it for all it's worth. :)

we both dislike skinny jeans

2009-09-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

after who knows how long, the cerebral owl and i got to finally meet up in person. a grand time was had by all. :)

and the tummy rumbles

2009-09-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

i should learn.

i should know by now that there is not going to be anything in the house i work in for me to eat. ever. i should make a lunch the night before so that i have something of sustenance . but do i? no.

last night i planned on going to the grocery store after latifah got home. but then i remembered it was the season premiere of 'so you think you can dance' and well, plans went out the window. i thought perhaps i could go after that, but it was also the season premiere of 'glee' my favorite new show (so far).

sure, i could have wrangled up something from the bits and pieces in the kitchen, but i could barely keep my eyes open by the time glee was over. i then crashed out hard, only to wake up in the middle of the night realizing i probably had a cold. and this morning? fuggettaboutit. it was my turn to sleep in while latifah walked the dog so you can bet i didn't rush to get out of bed.

now, here i sit. all 3 children are asleep and even though their fridge has food, there is nothing in it. you know what i mean. nothing can really be pieced together to make anything. and the things that are in there are just NOT GOOD. **rumble**

can someone bring me a pizza with extra cheese, onions, garlic and basil? or a really killer burrito? or anything that tastes good? please?

laundry is so a chore

2009-09-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

i have to share with all of you the laundry fiasco of 2009.

latifah and i got back from our boston trip on monday night. tuesday latifah was off work and asked if i wanted to do laundry with him when i got home. sure, no biggie. better to get it done sooner than later.

i get home and he was nice enough to have everything sorted and almost all ready to go. we packed up the car to transport our dingies over to the temporary laundry room at our complex (with the construction, they have to move the laundry facilities). we get over and have 3 washers ready to be used and we have about 5 loads of laundry. so, we load up the first 3 and figure we'll wait for the others until someone unloads.

people in our complex have no common courtesy when it comes to washing. they will let their stuff sit in the washer and come back when they see fit. however, if they were to have to wait, you could bet that they would take your clothes out of the washer and take it over. but i'm not a rude bitch (really i'm not!). anyhoo, i digress. i tell latifah i'll wait and he can walk our pupperface for a while.

finally the woman who was using the other washers comes back jabbering away on her cell. she sees me waiting for her washers and takes her sweet ass time unloading. in the middle of her unloading she decides to walk outside while still talking on her cell. loudly. she gets one washer unloaded and i take it. ok, she can obviously see that i have more laundry to do. she starts unloading the other and then decides to walk out again. comes back in and then hangs some shirts on the door of the now empty washer and goes to fill a dryer. yeah, i'm just standing here with laundry in my hands for the hell of it.

long story not so short, i get all my stuff in the washers. we use cards with money on them rather than quarters that we can load up on a machine when they get low. i am down to 25 cents so i tell latifah that we need to cruise over to the other side of the complex so i can add some money. we drive over to the other side where the card machine is located and have to park a little ways away from it due to construction. i have him wait with the dog and i go to add money. i get to the machine and it's not working. yay.

i head back to the car and let him know we will have to go to the local laundromat to dry our clothes. luckily, that is just around the corner. but i will need money from the atm since i don't have cash on me. we then realize my gas light is on and i need to go fill up. luckily that is just down the road. we get that done and then go to the atm right near the laundromat. the freakin atm isn't allowing any withdrawls. shit.

latifah thinks he has some change in his wallet, so he suggests we go home and he can get it. i drop him off and go to the washers to pull all the wet clothes out. he comes back with cash and i think all is good. i have him take the dog to feed her dinner and tell him i'll load up the dryers. there's only one problem.

when i get to the laundromat, the place is closing. i missed putting the loads in by a half hour. so i call latifah and let him know i am now going to have to go 2 cities over in order to get to the next nearest laundromat and see if they are still open. i get there and luckily they are open later and have dryers readily available. i load them up and all is right with the world.

we started getting all this ready at 6 pm. by the time i got the laundry into the dryers it was 9. i didn't get home until after 10. this was also my first day back to work after our trip and i was beyond tired.

i made sure to call the front office and let them know that the machine was down. haven't heard anything back, so i may go check it out tonight and see if anything has been done. i've always hated doing laundry, but this is just the icing on the flippin cake.

one for now.....

2009-09-09T12:27:00.000-07:00

me and one of the smartest people i know. :)

back from bean town

2009-09-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

and wishing we were still there.

the weather was magnificent and so was the company. nothing beats low 70s, sunny skies, feisty 3 year old little sisters and 5 year old wunderkinds. nothing.

i have to sort through hundreds of pictures and then i will give you all the play by play of the trip. but suffice it to say, we didn't want to leave. latifah is even so in love with the place that he wishes his office had a place there. i think we'd move pretty quick if we got the chance. :)

in other news.....my nephew (the linebacker) is now a little over a week old and as cute as ever. he "talked" to me on the phone a few hours ago and my heart just puddled all over the place. my bff's sister just had her second: a gorgeous little lady to add to her collection. now, just like my sister, she has her bookends...one of each! congrats to nance!

scary thing is that with all these babies coming into the world, i am hearing more and more often from latifah: "i want one of those" and then he flashes his grin and bats his long eyelashes. yeah. no.

and guess what? i'm going to FINALLY be meeting my devoted reader rebecca on friday. (hi rebecca!) we've only been chatting via blog or email or im for like forever, so i think it's about time, don't you!? the event will include massive amounts of caffeine. delicious, sweetly addictive caffeine. i can't wait.

hope you're all having a good week!

currently listening to over and over and over....

2009-09-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

love

2009-09-03T15:44:00.001-07:00

T and T

it's already september?

2009-09-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

where does the time go?

it's pretty amazing to realize that we've had our dog for 3 months now. time flies when you're in the middle of obedience training! :)

it's also hard to believe that 9 months ago my sister called to tell me she was pregnant. and now, the little chamaole is here and larger than life (seriously!). that means my niece is 5 (and still going on 25) and has started kindergarten. OY!

summer is over and school is back in session. so many little ones i know are starting school for the first time or crossing major educational milestones. moms i know are torn between celebrating an empty house or missing their little beasts while they are away smartening up. pc will be starting her new school next month and i don't know who is more excited....her or me! :)

i can't believe that in a few short months, another year will be behind us. is it just me?

i'm an auntie again!

2009-08-31T16:29:00.001-07:00

8 lbs 13 oz 20 inches of boy!
born august 30, 2009

welcome to the world, not so little man!

tick tick tick tick.....

2009-08-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

why is a day only 24 hours? doesn't god know that i need WAY more than that?

no matter what i do, the day doesn't seem long enough. i figure if i want to get up in the morning and have a non rushed, stress free morning, i need to get up by 5 am. that so ain't happening. i've been trying to get up at 6 and that is painful enough.

ever since i got back from england, time has just flown by. i spent 2 weeks there then came home and spent 2 weeks with latifah and his boys. i had a few days to myself and then i flew off to vegas to see my preggo sister and host her baby shower. i got back and started work a couple of days later. somewhere in there i was supposed to have some me time which i never ended up getting.

since being back to work, my days have been swamped. both the babies are now walking, everyone's been sick, mom went back to work the day after they got back and the schedule just seems to be crazy. i'm looking forward to the 9th when PC starts school and will be going in the afternoons mwf. it will be good for everyone! maybe i'll feel like i'm getting something done on the job front.

with the job being crazy, i get home and and just beyond tired. luckily, dog face doesn't want to go for a walk as soon as i get in the door, so we hang out, snuggle eachother and then head out for a stroll-n-poop. but then there is dinner and/or dishes, bills to pay, spare rooms to finally figure out, laundry, cars to clean out, grocery shopping, boyfriends to pay attention to and all that good stuff.

and the kicker? the last 3 out of 4 nights my sleep has been crap. granted, one night it was due to our lovely neighbors yukking it up on their balcony at 130 in the morning. do those fuckers work? that started my path towards crap sleep. missy was whining another night at 330 am so that woke me up. and then last night it was due to pee and restlessness. not fun. i am usually the one with no sleep issues. hmph.

my to do list is 3 pages long. i think i've crossed off about half the stuff, but my GOD it's never been that long before. i have pictures to take off my computer and put to disk, i have plants waiting to be potted on the front porch, i have storage that needs sifting through and i have bathroom stuff that is still all out in a mess and in travel bags from my various trips. let's not even begin to mention the various blogs that have been sadly neglected...hmph.

how does this happen? and when will i catch up? it's such a vicious cycle. i want to have more energy, so i try to eat better. but then i can't sleep as well and in turn end up sleeping too late and don't have time in the morning to make a healthy breakfast and pack a lunch. i could do this at night and get it all ready, but because i am already so fudged on sleep i am a zombie come 6 pm when i walk in the door.

today i brought my computer to work so that i could pay bills, catch up on emails, blog a bit and find out some information i've been needing for a while now. it seems that the wireless connection we were borrowing from a random neighbor has ceased to be, so we are wire-LESS in a not so good way at home. may just have to bite the bullet and actually purchase a connection. oy.

i may start bringing the computer on a regular basis again and just do stuff when i get an ounce of free time at the ol' work place (which is slim to none these days. i'm letting the babies destroy their sock basket in order to have a few minutes to myself). i miss rambling incoherently to you all.

enough about me. how are you? and hey, rebecca? we are defintely getting together when you come back into town. i will be out of town from the 3-8 but we can do before or after, ok? let me know your availability!!

off to vegas!

2009-08-05T17:18:00.000-07:00

hey all! latifah's boys have gone home and i've had a few days to myself. however, i am off to vegas for my sister's baby shower, so i will be away for a few days. once i get back and before i head back to the work world, i promise to catch everyone up on everything!

wish me luck in the heat! and let's hope i magically win some money on the slots! xx

bus blogging!

2009-07-19T23:51:00.000-07:00

i'm on the bus to heathrow and they have free wifi! woot!

i got my tired butt up at 530 this morning in order to make sure i had sufficient time to walk said tired butt to the train station with my gear. i managed to lug my big backpack with all my computer stuff and books i mysteriously acquired while out shopping, my smaller backpack that holds my canon and my purse stuff and my duffle that is filled to the brim with my stuff and pressies. i'm sure i looked pretty walking 20 minutes down the main road to the bus station.

i hadn't thought about it until the charming and curly :) rebecca mentioned that it sucked that i had to find my own way to the airport. damn right it sucks! i hadn't even considered it until i realized that not only was i walking to the bus station but that i was paying for my bus ticket (2o pounds, thanks!). just the final nail in the nanny coffin, i guess.

in any case, i'm gone from the house. everyone was still asleep when i left, so there were no goodbyes. i made sure to spend time with the girls yesterday afternoon and got my love in. it was actually nice leaving when the house was quiet and the chaos hadn't reared its head yet.

i was slightly sad as the bus made its way through the heart of the town and past all the places i had started to enjoy. but now i just have more reason to come back in a non-work related way and enjoy it fully.

the highway here is reminding me a bit of the 280 in my neck of the woods. any of you familiar with it know what i mean: lots of green. i've seen loads of cows, sheep and a few horses. in any case, it's relaxing and a nice way to wrap up.

tonight when i get in, latifah and the boys will be picking me up. then we have to head home, drop stuff off, pick up dogface (i CANNOT WAIT to see that mutt!) and take her to her class. i am going to be seriously beat. hell, it will only be 4 am oxford time! cripes. i will survive.

if i can manage 2 weeks of chaos, i can do anything, right?

see you all again..........at home. xo.

the dogs are barkin, yo!

2009-07-18T11:51:00.000-07:00

i got up this morning and caught the 730 am train into london.

that means that i had to leave the house by 7 which means that i had to be up by 630 at the latest. not that easy when i stayed up reading until 1 am. oops.

but i made it into paddington station by train. from there i took the tube to portobello road and then to covent garden. i shopped and shopped and shopped and shopped. and then i shopped some more. in between i had the most delicious fish and chips evah!

i scored a pretty little wedgewood ring at the antique market on portobello road. it's a green rather than a blue and it's real wedgewood, so i'm keeping it for special occasions. i found some good treats to take home to latifah and some little things to maybe spread out amongst family if they are good. :)

in covent garden i ducked into a little shop i read about called NEAL'S YARD REMEDIES. i picked up this little TRAVEL SET since i've been hearing great things about aromatherapy and thought it would come in handy. i'll let you know how it all works out. it was hard not to want to buy everything in that store and try it out. they have stuff for men, for women, for babies and for mommies to be. and the store smelled heavenly. i think i may use the aromatherapy roller for sleep tonight and see what goes down.

fish and chips was courtesy of a place i read about in my "LET'S GO" london book. really people, if you're looking for a great tour book that keeps it on the fairly cheap and is pretty straightforward about stuff, hit up the "let's go" series. it's gotten me through paris, london and now oxford. i even bought one for nyc (i'll get there someday!) . but i digress.

ROCK AND SOLE PLAICE is the chippy shop i hit up for lunch. i'm not in that picture, but it's just an idea as to how the outside seating is where i sat and enjoyed a rare sunny day! the piece of cod i had was about a food long and absolutely perfect! the fish inside was tender and flaky and the batter outside was cooked to perfection. there were so many chips that i could only eat about a quarter of them. and the tartar sauce is handmade and SO yummy! i can't believe that i've been here two weeks and only had fish and chips 1 time! there's just not many places in oxford to have the f and c's.

the train ride into paddington was so nice and relaxing. i saw lots of fields, cows, sheep, horses and open space. i'm also a sucker for train stations. so, when i got to paddington (this was my first time there) i took my time leaving the station. i walked around a bit and made sure to grab some breakfast.

after shopping my arse off, i headed back to the train station and grabbed my first coffee in two weeks (vanilla latte, venti thanks!) and sat down to people watch and take a little breather before taking the next available train. it was so nice to be in no rush whatsoever and make my own schedule. i checked out the paddington souvies, drank my coffee, hit up the bookstore, people watched and then caught the next train. another hour train ride later and i was back in oxford.

where it started raining at the exact second the doors opened for the train.

seriously god!? it was a gorgeous day ALL day and i get to come "home" to that? what gives? i walked home in sprinkles and it hasn't stopped since i got in. that was over 2 hours ago. whatever! it had better be nice tomorrow for my last romp in oxford!

but now i am taking myself to bed with a good book and some aromatherapy! g'night all!

oh friday, where for art thou?

2009-07-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

i got off work late tonight (big surprise) and booked it out of the house as soon as i could. there was a light rain and a chill in the air (nice!). i popped in the ipod and headed down into town.

i had no idea where i was going to eat. all i knew was that i was starving. i walked down the main drag of stores and have never seen so many teenagers all gathered in one place. and the number of them that were smoking just blew me away (and made me feel all old and bitty). it bummed me out that so many shops close at 6, because they would so end up taking a load of my money if they were open. (check out FAT FACE where i tried not to spend too much but did buy THIS bag!)

i ended up at CHIANG MAI KITCHEN which has become my newest favorite thai place in the world. once again i had the pad thai which just sends me swooning along with the best thai iced tea i've ever tasted. it doesn't hurt that they accessorize the plated not with parsley or carrots, but with orchids. yes, live orchids.

after i stuffed myself silly, i headed back down the main drag and over to the bookstore. i picked up a couple of books for the flight home and a CURLY WURLY candy bar. then i headed 2 doors down to the local SAINSBURY'S for some cokes and a much needed water. a few pounds later and back out into the rain i went to head home.

by this time it was just hitting 9 pm. normally, in an unfamiliar city/town i would not be out at 9 pm walking home on a 20 minute walk. however, the sun hadn't fully set, so it looked like it was just in the very beginning of sunset. i felt very safe walking home with the ipod in and singing along to damien rice in the rain. :)

i made it home just as it started to pour. now, here i sit, showered, relaxed and eagerly awaiting the rolling around of friday! once i get home, i'll have time to work on pictures and video that are just itching to be shown!

technical question

2009-07-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

does anyone know why when i put youtube videos up they overlap on stuff on my page? they never used to do that and now it's all icky looking. can i adjust them? should i change something on my page? is blogger just f-ing with me yet again?

t minus 4 and counting....

2009-07-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

4 days and i'll be back in the states.

**praying extremely hard that they fly by**

i actually was in the bathroom the other day (where i go to get 1 minute of me time) and asked god what the big idea was. because i didn't think i deserved to have such a craptacular time here. i felt a little slighted considering all i've put into my career and how much i've done/learned/shared in my various nanny gigs over the last 10+ years.

it just never gets to be the easy way for me. :(

on a good note, i am planning my weekend in london. saturday and sunday are strictly my time this round, so i am taking the train out to london for a day or 2 of shopping and people watching. as long as i hit up the portobello road market again and covent garden (my two favorite adventures last time i was here over 4 years ago!) i'll be good. and an hour on the train with an ipod and no children sounds like heaven.

i also have to figure out how to get myself to the airport on monday. it looks like there is a bus service (they are amazing here) that i can catch down the road that will take me directly to heathrow. just have to find out when it runs and what part of the airport i will be in and i should be good!!

this mini break from reality has been brought to you by: naptime, too much caffeine and extreme sleepiness.

a favorite of the moment

2009-07-15T14:55:00.001-07:00

oxonian time

2009-07-14T13:14:00.000-07:00

hello there my lovelies.

currently, it is 915 pm in oxford on tuesday. the sun is just starting to set and the rain has passed at least for now. earlier it poured (as is usual...or at least has been the last week) at random times and even thundered for a good solid minute. i was hoping for more of a storm, but no dice.

i officially went a bit stir crazy today. the 3.5 year old was the devil (she's gotten SO bad...it's sad really) and i ended up with 2 babies zonked out in my lap for over an hour. at that point, i hadn't eaten anything (and it was lunch time by then) so i was super hungry, super grumpy, super pms-ing and just really wanting to go home at that exact second.

after another round with the devil child, i told grandma that i was walking down the street to get some lunch because i was absolutely starving and needed some fresh air. i thought about just hopping on the train and heading to london, but instead went and got my sammich and came back.

after a very long day, i grabbed my stuff, stuck my earphones in my ears, cranked the ipod and got the hell out of the house. i needed some interaction with people that were over the age of 4 and that i wasn't employed by. so i hit up the middle of town, grabbed some dinner and sat and people watched for a little while. i then headed over to the sainsbury's and treated myself to some food that i would actually eat while in the house. yay me. :)

i came home, checked email, took a long shower and am now contemplating putzing around online a little more or getting back into the book i started while i had 2 hot babies snoozing on my chest.

i can't wait to get home, enjoy some time off, kiss and hug on my man and my dog and get to know my man's 2 boys that are visiting until august 1. i hear they are having a blast and i can't wait to join in on the fun.

what are you all up to?

photos? no.

2009-07-12T15:20:00.001-07:00

holy crap i have a lot of pictures already. not to mention video! and alas, blogger is not letting me put up any right now. so, you all shall have to wait.

and damnit, those pictures of christ church college were stunning! :)

cheers!

2009-07-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

hello there! i've managed to survive my first week across the pond in oxford! if all goes as planned, i should be able to get my pictures up and try to round up some sort of little video showing you my adventures so far. be on the lookout!

i think i peed myself

2009-07-10T12:38:00.001-07:00

cheerio!

2009-07-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

foreign country + sleep deprived children + no schedule + rain + bad housing set up + not enough toys + an exhausted nanny = not a helluva lot of energy to blog. i have pictures to share and so much to tell, but just can't do it. plus, i just shot my blog load, if you will, venting over at my OTHER blog. you can go enjoy that painful entry if you are a glutton for punishment.

i will say this. i think i am going to steal a kebab truck and bring it home with me for my very own. burp.

obedience training

2009-06-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

so, we went to our first official obedience class last night.

i don't know who needs the training more: the dog or the boyfriend. i know i need a bottle of wine after dealing with both of them in there for an hour. allow me to explain.

we get there and missy decides she needs to bark at every single 4 legged creature in the place. teacher dawna puts a gentle leader collar on her (it goes around the head and mouth...not a muzzle, but a head leash that allows for more facial control and knocks down some of her bad manners). that helps a bit, but since she is so skittish and out of control, she puts us in the office space, which is an open space but with low walls and a door so that we can work with her w/o her being sidetracked.

i can tell latifah is stressing out already because too much is being thrown at him. he listens, but only half listens. so he hears some things but when it comes time to actually do what the teacher is teaching, he does it partially wrong. i am trying to show him how it is supposed to be done and he gets huffy. missy is actually listening for the most part and responding well to the first 3 commands we are learning. but she also vibes off of latifah's stress.

it doesn't help that when the teacher is trying to explain something new, latifah is still doing the previous skill with missy. so he's not listening and i'm ready to boot him in the head. the entire drive home, he is silent. the only thing he says is that he feels overwhelmed by all that happened in class.

in every command we learned, he does one thing wrong with each of them. AND. ITS. DRIVING. ME. FREAKIN. NUTS. he's trying them again at home and as i try to remind him that he needs to say something in a certain way or hold the leash in a certain way, he gets frustrated and decides to go take a shower and go to bed. yay teamwork!

since i am going to be gone for about 2 classes (going to england for work) i am worried as to how he is going to handle classes all by himself. actually, he only has to go to one by himself and the next class he will have his sons visiting, so they can go with him. part of me thinks he isn't going to practice with her and the other part of me could see him just be a total basket case. but what can i do?

i'm going to go inhale deeply for a few minutes and try to think positive.

i think i can do this...

2009-06-30T10:08:00.000-07:00

i received this email from my sister this morning. :) looks like my brother and i will have some responsibilities in a few months!
***
Although it is a bit early, we would like to ask each of you if you would accept the privilege of being our son’s godparents. You would have to share the responsibility, but we would be honored to have you as godparents. This means that you will have to spoil him, take him to ball games, assist him in the female category (Shelly), and adore him…

meet the missy

2009-06-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

meet missy from shel b on Vimeo.

meet missy

2009-06-10T16:09:00.001-07:00

the new addition to our family. more to follow!

good morning!

2009-05-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

it's 945 am and i'm sitting here in my jammies, watching the news on mute, listening to the black eyed peas sing "boom boom pow" on youtube and couch dancing. oh yeah, i also had a taco salad for breakfast with a coke.

i love being a grown up.

latifah is out at the humane society today doing some volunteering with his office. i would not be suprised if he comes home with a dog. seriously. i even encouraged it. :)

so, it's been almost a month since we moved. i can't freakin believe how fast time flies when you're moved in! we bought a bbq over memorial day weekend and have fallen madly in love with it. the steaks we had on the first night were by far the most amazing, delicious, scrumptious pieces of beef we had ever devoured. now all we need is a new tv and we're in like flinn.

this past week was tough in terms of work. but if you want to go read my rants about that you can always head over to my nanny blog "the chronicles of nanny-a" and read away. i won't torture you with it all here. but suffice it to say, my ass has been dragging all week. and two of those work days i had a stress headache the size of texas. not even drugs would make it go away. fun!

there have been some good turns in events in the last week though. latifah and i will be going back to boston over labor day weekend to visit the little man and eat our weight in crab rangoons in chinatown. we may even spend some money on clothes (again). damn you boston for your no tax on clothing! :) it's been a while, so it will be so nice to spend a few days off with our favorite little genius and our favorite home away from home. what makes it even sweeter is that we are not paying for our tickets. rock on.

also, i managed to find a long lost friend of mine on facebook. i think i may have mentioned jerry in past entries. he and i met online ages ago in a random chat and became fast friends. we share the same birthday (which means that we both are AWESOME! hello!) and we bonded over some trying times in our lives. we met up in dc once and then lost contact when his life really started to take off and mine definitely improved.

i've come to find out that he's doing really well and sounds really happy and in love with his wife, his music, his photography and his life. you can check out his photography at JASKPhotography and his band at The Wax Standard. by the way, jerry, if you're reading this, HELLO! it's good to have you back. thank you for being my soul friend and all that sappy friend stuff.

i've got a load of pictures to get up of the move and the new place. i'm hoping that i can accomplish that this weekend. but until then, i'll leave you with a fun little story.

last night, latifah and i hit up panda express since i was craving their green bean chicken. we walk in and see a rather interesting character sitting in the far back corner of the restaurant. he's slightly shaggy and paper thin. after we sit down to eat, he walks by and i catch a glimpse of him:

long brown hair
beard/mustache
weighs about 1.5 lbs.
black long sleeved tshirt
super huge, baggy black and orange 'rave' pants

it was then that i realized. i had just had an encounter with techno jesus in our local panda express. i don't know if he had his crucifix glowsticks in his ginormous pockets, but i would not have been suprised.

he walked by one more time as i was cracking open my fortune cookie. it crumbled in front of me, to which i responded with a sigh and "JESUS!". at that exact moment, i felt a huge wave of guilt as i looked up and techno jesus was right there. :)

the little man ain't so little anymore

2009-05-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

moving and shaking. literally. part 2.

2009-05-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

with the work week in full swing (and professor mommy being gone for half of it) we didn't get much unpacking done after work hours. my mom was coming into town thursday night to help out, so we kept that as our motivation that things would get done. eventually.

mom's flight was delayed a couple of times and she finally got into town a few hours late. i was so glad to have her around to add her spin to things, but we were all beat and crashed out fairly quick that night.

friday, mom came to work with me and we were worn out once again that evening. saturday, however, my mom had her daily crack (read: caffeine) fix and was rarin' to go before i even woke up. saturday consisted of working our asses off and getting nearly everything unpacked. even in 95 degree weather, we plugged along, sweating our asses off and breaking down boxes one by one.

we still have some organizing to do and some boxes that need to find a home, but our place is fully livable now. i know that if mom hadn't come, we'd still be looking at a disassembled futon on our living room floor that belonged in the spare room.

sunday was spent farmer's marketing, ihopping and plant shopping. that evening we dropped mom off at the airport and wished her a safe flight. when she called later that night, we found out her flight was indeed safe, but the adventures she dealt with to have that safe flight were interesting:

she had to sit next to a man with extremely offensive body odor who had never flown before
her flight arrived home 15 minutes early, but it didn't matter since the other plane was still at the gate and they couldn't get off until it moved.
once she was finally in baggage claim, a 4.7 earthquake hit, causing things to rattle and people to panic.
they had to wait forever to get the luggage.
she should have taken the $125 voucher to bounce her flight until the next day. :)

luckily, jet blue sent her a $25 voucher to apologize for the delays on the flight coming into us. so it wasn't all that bad! :)

so, thanks again mom! latifah sends his love and thanks. perhaps if you're lucky he'll cook for you next time!!

moving and shaking. literally. part 1.

2009-05-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

before anything else:

BIG PROPS TO MY MAMA FOR COMING OUT THIS PAST WEEKEND AND KICKING OUR UNPACKING ASSES INTO GEAR! you rock. thank you again!

the big moving day came and we were (almost) ready. we headed out nice and early to pick up the uhaul and the process was so smooth that i almost didn't believe it. reviews on yelp had said that the place we were getting it from wasn't the best, so i was a little worried. however, they must have read the reviews, because they were on point! it was such a refreshing feeling not having to stress out like i thought i would. we got back and latifah's mover friends showed up a few minutes early and the box juggling began. as soon as they began, i ran over to the leasing office to drop off the check, hand in the last of the paperwork and get the keys. once they were in my anxious palm, i immediately put down our welcome mat and brought in a few floor lamps.

when i got back, the movers and latifah had loaded SO much stuff already. i did my part to help and loaded up my car as well. latifah loaded up his and then his mover friend offered the back of his truck to load even more things (like the food, etc that we were going to save until later and do ourselves) in order to save time.

3 hours later, the guys were done unpacking and we were standing out on the front porch downing pizza and chugging pepsis. we handed over their money (such a freakin good deal!) and thanked them profusely. and then the fun really began.

we then made some calls about donations and proceeded to take our huge tv that died over to goodwill. the thing weighs a million tons and we had issues moving it. but when we got there, this little man comes and picks it up all by himself and takes it in for us. yeah, we felt like wimps. but at least the tv was off our hands and in a better place. after that we filled up the tank on the uhaul with 2 bucks worth of gas (had to have it full to bring it back and we only used 11 miles total on the truck) and took it back to its home, once again with no problem.

then the fun began. we picked up a rug doctor at the local drug store, then headed back to the old place to scrub, vacuum, spray, wipe and clean to our hearts content. oh the joy (oh the sarcasm)! we got as much done as we could before the sun went down, then headed back to the new place to set up the bed and crash.

the next morning we could barely move. i felt like i was hit by a truck and then backed over. it was insane how bad my body hurt. i think you could actually hear it screaming. latifah was in as much pain, but we had cleaning to do, so we sucked it up and headed over to the new place.

in the course of the rest of the day we:

packed up all the remaining bits and pieces
failed at peeling off the "you will be towed" sticker that got placed on my car for parking in a not occupied tenant parking spot (i guess it was only good for the day before)
realized that cleaning under a fridge is really disgusting no matter what
realized we have a lot of cleaning supplies.
ended up with white residue on our hands after cleaning the mini blinds. ew.
rug doctored the hell out of the carpet (and got out the killer oj stain from a few months ago)
handed over the keys to a sad property manager that complimented us on being such wonderful tenants and lamenting on how much she would miss us. (aw!)
heading back to our new place to either collapse or try to unpack a bit more.

that was all on a sunday night. monday night comes around and i am trying to unpack the kitchen while latifah works on his stuff for the bedroom. suddenly, i realize that we accidentally left all our pots and pans under the stove top. CRAP! i call the property manager after hours and leave her a message apologizing like crazy and begging her not to toss the stuff or to think we did it on purpose. tuesday we hear nothing all day long, so i go by after work. it was her day off and she wasn't in the office at all. alas, we have to wait until wednesday. i call her again first thing in the morning, worried as all get out.

she apologizes for having the day off and not getting back to us sooner. being the amazing lady she always has been, she tells me not to worry and that i can come and pick them up after work. PHEW!

......to be continued...........

check out where we're moving

2009-05-05T23:05:00.000-07:00

a little video of pics for your viewing pleasure. (happy now mom?)

we're on the move...almost from shel b on Vimeo.

oh soda, how i love thee!

2009-05-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

i've come to the conclusion that i will never, ever, ever, ever be able to give up drinking soda. it's just not going to happen.

i can cut back. that's no problem. but give it up completely? hells no! that sugary, brown goodness is just too impossible to ever bid adieu to. the coldness. the carbonation. the taste that is a coke. c'mon!

i found out today that i'm not alone in my enjoyment of the beverage sometimes in the am hours (breakfast). if i don't get a steaming hot cup of joe, i'll have a soda. yes, i know that's not the best thing, but it gets me started in the morning (even if it is just a mental thing). my friend alan, from high school, admitted on one of those ever popular question/answer surveys that he sometimes indulges in the soda habit at breakfast time too! YAY!

what's your "never gonna give you up" indulgence!? you can tell me!

peek a boo!

2009-04-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

i know i have gone like video crazy here, but that's what happens when i wind down from a day of packing and cleaning and packing/cleaning related errands!

this video makes me want a cat again. NOW.

how to make a baby

2009-04-30T09:43:00.001-07:00

new neighbors

2009-04-29T16:45:00.001-07:00

it seems that our current complex has just gotten some interesting new residents.

i've caught them yukking it up in the pool at odd hours of the day and even when it's too cold to even contemplate taking a dip. they aren't very noisy and tend to keep to themselves. i'm thinking they are just a bit shy and take time making new friends.

and i'm not positive, but i think they may be an out gay couple.

i saw them in the pool again just as i was going to take out the trash, so i ran back in and grabbed my camera. you tell me what you think:

moving dates

2009-04-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

for those of you that were asking about what the actual dates are:

may 9 we move all our junk into the new place.
may 10 we hand over the keys from our old place.

that gives us a day layover to finish cleaning, get the carpet looking purty and a teeny tiny bit of room to breathe. :)

gnarly nanny- good luck on your move! i'll be thinking about you!
buffi- still sending the good moving karma your way! i want to see pictures! send me your new address!
rebecca- you moved and lived to tell the tale. and it was all the way across the US. if you can do it, any of us can!
mom- be ready to help put stuff away when you come visit the week after we move! but also be ready to get your fill of the twins and the porkchop and the boyfriend. and me too! can't wait for you to come!!

the next chapter

2009-04-29T13:35:00.000-07:00

honestly, it really hasn't sunk in that latifah and i are moving to a new place.

ok, i know we're packing and cleaning and all that and i know we are moving. but the fact that we are going to be moving to a new city and a new place that is OURS (not mine or his and the other person just moves in) hasn't hit me. latifah has lived in this apartment for 5 years now. i've spent the majority of my nights here, even when i was living elsewhere. hell, for the first couple of months after he moved in, i lived here since i was kicked out of the nanny job from hell.

this place is what i know. it's been a safe haven when i had nowhere else to go. it's been prisonlike when latifah and i have gone through our rough patches and i wished we had an extra bedroom to lock myself in. :) it's been home. that could be why it hasn't all sunk in yet. we're going to miss this chunk of our history, but it's time to move to a bigger place.

it's time to have OUR place, one that we build up together and make memories in together. it's time to have that extra space in order to mesh the bits and pieces of our lives. it's time for the dog we've been wanting for years. :) it's time to have space to invite friends and family over to visit, hang out, bbq and just always feel welcome.

...on to the next chapter...

whooosh! there goes time!

2009-04-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

why is it that when i'm not working, time zooms by so fast that i feel i missed half of it?

and why is it that when i am at work, the time just drrrrraaaaaags its ass in the slowest manner possible?

i've got a list of stuff i've already accomplished today and i can see that i've gotten a lot done since i've been off, but i still feel frustrated. i think it's because it's not finished and can't be finished until next week. there are things we can't pack up because we still need to eat and get dressed and bathe.

i'm a person who may wait and procrastinate when it comes to getting things done, but when i get started, i want to FINISH. and the fact that i can't finish all this is thwacking me in the brain!! i feel extremely bad for sitting here blogging right now, but i was already online making a list of our donations for goodwill........... :)

the rest of today will include going through our food and seeing what we have left, what i can toss, what can be boxed and what the hell i can make for dinner the next few nights. if i feel a wee bit crazy, i may even go out to the balcony and clean out some old pots and start cleaning it up. there are also some packed up boxes of latifah's stuff in the closet i can move out to the other boxes.

tomorrow, i have a lunch date with a friend, donations to take to goodwill, some errands to run and a start on packing up unnecessary items in the bathroom. look at me! i'm a party animal!

i have yet to figure out what friday holds. maybe i'll do absolutely nothing and just go out and enjoy myself!

the weekend includes desk disassembly, possible futon disassembly, and latifah and i trying to pack up everything we don't need for the next week.

anyone want to come and do it all for us? :)

my wish list for once we move

2009-04-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

propane bbq that will fit on the balcony
new bed linens for our queen size bed
someone to come and unpack everything for me
a cleaning service
winning lottery numbers
dinners that cook themselves
a day of napping
52 inch flat screen lcd tv
a dog

can you guess which ones are actually realistic and which ones i dont' have a shot in hell with? :)

i'm about to claw my eyes out

2009-04-28T17:08:00.001-07:00

packing has stirred up all the things that make my eyes itch.

i don't know if it's the dust, the boxes, stuff buried deep in the carpet....whatever. all i know is that i wake up each morning thinking my eyes will pop out of their sockets and run screaming down the hall at the thought of having to live another day.

soon the move will be done. and then we just have to unpack. that's a whole 'nutha allergy attack just waiting to happen! WHEEEEE!

speaking of packing and moving, i've become the master list maker. i just looked over at a random list i've written on my trusty clip board and this is what it says:

cupcakes
lunch
wine rack
more cupboards
dishes

looks like i started out the day with some cupcakes for breakfast, moved on to a lunch straight from the wine rack, cleared out more cupboards for dinner and moved on to cleaning all the dishes i used.