hormonal much?

almost 2 weeks ago i made a big decision.

first, a little backstory. (and this may be a post with TMI, so be prepared) i have been on the pill for a little less than 3 years now. i had noticed about halfway into it that my um, drive (geesh, my mother is probably reading this) had started to lessen and in the present has waned to nothing. i did some research and learned that many women, when they go on the pill, end up losing their sex drive completely. it's the damn hormones (or lack thereof)!

at times i thought it was just me. or stress. or being tired. or whatever else happened to be going on at the time. but the more i researched, the more the signs pointed to the pill. so i made a decision, while consulting with my gyn.

i have gone off the pill completely.

i thought about switching to the pill i was on ages ago, which didn't seem to affect me. but then i thought i would like to get the pill completely out of my system first to see if that made any difference. i was willing to suffer through horrible cramps and periods again to at least feel like myself.

latifah agreed to me doing so and we are taking precautions (once again, blushing if mom is reading this.........but hell, i'm a grown woman, right? RIGHT?!). since stopping, i have noticed a few things:

my emotions are all over the place. in the last few days, i have felt like crying over a load of stupid things. my energy levels are slightly wacked. i can have highs and lows. and today? holy hell! i am super bitch. everything is pissing me off.

i also noticed that i had a reaction to coffee last night. usually i can drink a cup or two and go to bed a few hours later with no problem. but last night, i was wide awake for an hour after hitting the sack. not fun. then add to that a dog who wasn't doing well with sleeping on her own bed and multiply that by a latifah who couldn't fall asleep for about 3 hours after we laid down. add on a dog who didn't want to do her business on a walk this morning and factor in a grumpy boyfriend. top it all off with ALL the stupid people driving in front of me on the road and you get me: SUPERBITCH!!!

the only thing that scares me is what if it isn't my hormones adjusting right now? what if my highs and lows have nothing to do with the changes my body may be going through? work sucks, which makes me tired and frustrated and emotional and it freaks me out thinking that i could be dealing with a little bit of depression. i'm going to ride this out another week or two and see how i am doing. if i'm still feeling all out of wack, then i'll talk to my doctor.

for now, i'm just riding the waves. i'll see where they take me. i am still glad i made the decision to go off the pill for a while and see what happens. have any of you had similar situations? as always, i'd love to hear your POV.